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Isle Thing Isle Thing Met this fine young thing At the local Circle K We made a date for a half past eight And I said, "What the hey?" So I journeyed to her crib And I let myself inside That chick was slouched down on the couch I think her brain was fried Couldn't figure it out She wouldn't even look at me Then I saw her eyes, she was hypnotised Cold glued to her TV "Hey, what's your problem baby doll Let's have a little fling" She said, "Hey you fool, now just be cool I'm watchin' that Gilligan's Isle thing" Isle thing Isle thing, isle thing, isle thing Watchin' all night Musta, been a marathon I was bummin', those shows kept cominHere's what was goin' on These Castaways were stranded On this island out at sea One of them called Gilligan So let's name him after m He'd mess up every rescue Man, that first mate was illinIf I was one of those Castaways I think I'd probably kill 'im Just about that time Telephone began to ring She said, "Just let it, my machine'll get We're watchin' the Gilligan's Isle thing Isle thing She loves that Gilligan's Isle thing Isle thing, isle thing, isle thing Please, baby, baby, please I like the professor He always saves their butts He could build a nuclear reactor From a clouple' of coconuts She said, "That guy's a genius" I shook my head and laughed I said, "If he's so fly, they tell me why He couldn't build a lousy raft" And while we're on the subject I'll tell you one thing for sure Those homeboys brought an awful lot For just a three hour tour Then her mom came in the room It was kind of embarrasing She said, "Hey you two, I was once like you And I loved that Gilligan's Isle thing" Isle thing She'd watch that Gilligan's Isle thing Please, baby, baby, please Skipper's in a hammock He's looking kinda fat He'd throw a fit and then he'd hit Old Gilligan with his hat Mrs. Hal had it goin' on But Mr. Hal was meaner Ginger and Mary Anne could've used Some funky cold medina I was really diggin' this show I didn't know what to do It kinda looked like I was hooked Now I'm an addict too I know each episode by heart Now I'm the rerun king And on every date we both stay up late And we watch the Gilligan's Isle thing Isle thing Hasta la vista, little buddy Gilligan's Isle thing, isle thing, isle thing... Weird Al Yankovic |
It's All About The Pentiums It's All About The Pentiums It's all about the Pentiums, baby Uhh, uh huh, yeah Uhh, uh huh, yeah It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) Yeah What y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard? Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM I never feed trolls and I don't read spam Installed a T1 line in my house Always at my PC, double clickin' on my mizouse Upgrade my system at least twice a day I'm strictly plug and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support It's all about the Pentiums, what? You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen You've got white out all over your screen You think your Commodore 64 is really neato What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito? You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half? You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette You're the biggest joke on the Internet Your database is a disaster You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar And postin' "Me too!" like some brain dead AOL er I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) Now, what y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? Uh, uh, loggin' in now Wanna run wit my crew, hah? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do? They call me the king of the spreadsheets Got 'em printed out on my bedsheets My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks But it was obsolete before I opened the box You say you've had your desktop for over a week? Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique Your laptop is a month old? Well that's great If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight My digital media is write protected Every file inspected, no viruses detected I beta tested every operation system Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskinIt does all my work without me even askinGot a flat screen monitor forty inches wide wide I believe that your says "Etch A Sketch" on the side In a 32 bit world, you're a 2 bit user You've got your own newsgroup, "alt.total loser" Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks? Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you If I ever meet you I'll control alt delete you What? What? What? What? What? It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) Now, what y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? What? Weird Al Yankovic |
Jerry Springer Jerry Springer It's been one week since we got to see Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry Five days since they had the show With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho Three days since we heard the tale About the guy who learned his woman was a she male Yesterday it occurred to me That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer Holy cow, d'you see it last week? Well, they had this one freak Who sucker punched his whole family Do you recall when the brawl Became a total free for all And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee Hey, see the stripper with the implants She likes to lap dance And date the boyfriend of her mother Now here come's Jerry's next guest And it's a slugfest 'Cause it's her trailer trash brother Nymphomaniac is back on crack It's like "When Animals Attack" They all exhibit reprehensible behavior Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes Step on their toes, that's how it goes They get so violent they have to sign a waiver They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange When he found out that his wife had a sex change They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly They have a history of ripping off their shirts It's been one week since they had the fight With the Siamese twins and the transvestite Five days since that awful brawl They still haven't got the blood off the wall It's been three days since the bitter fued Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude Yesterday, finally dawned on me I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer (Guy Guest) Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister (Gal Guest) Oh? Well, which one? (Guy Guest) All of them (Gal Guest) Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake! (Guy Guest) Yah? Well, well me too! (Gal Guest) Oh! (Guy Guest) And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie! (barking) (Gal Guest) Woofie, you b tch! (Gal Guest) Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat! (baaahhing) (Guy Guest) That goat doesn't love you! Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppinYour brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppinJerry's the king of confrontation He's a sensation He puts the 'sin' in syndication It's totally worthless, like a bad check It's like a train wreck Don't wanna stare but you can't look away Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows But with more weirdos The ratings jumpin' higher everyday If you've seen the show, well then you know It's just as low as you can go The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene And pretty soon some ugly goon Comes in the room and then it's Boom In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies "Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant Should I turn off my TV? I just can't I have a tendency to watch it religiously I have a history of taping each one It's been one week since the show about Psycho killers with problems they should work out Five days since the big surprise When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating twenty guys Three days wince he interviewed A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude Yesterday, it occurred to me That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer Come over here and pull on my finger... Weird Al Yankovic |
Jurassic Park Jurassic Park I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes And before long, they were cloning DNA Now I'm being chased by some irate veloceraptors Well, believe me this has been one lousy day Jurassic Park is frightning in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone shut the fence off in the rain I admit it's kinda eerie But this proves my chaos theory And I don't think I'll be coming back again On no I cannot approve of this attraction 'Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawer Well, I suppose that proves they're really not all bad Jurassic Park is frightning in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone let T. Rex out of his pen I'm afraid those things'll harm me 'Cause they sure don't act like Barney And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend Oh no Jurassic Park is frightning in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild What a crummy weekend this has been Well, this sure ain't no E ticket Think I'll tell them where to stick it 'Cause I'm never coming back this way again Oh no oh no... Weird Al Yankovic |
Lasagna Lasagna La la la la lasagna You want a some a lasagna magnifico Or a maybe spaghetti Ay, you supper's a ready now, where you go Mama mia bambino Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you 'Samatta you, 'samatta you You should a taste my lasagna Ay, you no like a lasagna That's okay too How about a calzone Some a nice minestrone, ats good for you Have a some marinara Have a some marinara, I know a you like I know a you like, I know a you like La lasagna La lasagna La lasagna Would you like some a zucchini Or a my homemade linguini, it's hard to beat Have a more fettuccini. Ay, you getting too skinny, you gotta to eat Ay, mange, mange (gargling) Ay, you a pass the lasagna A don't you get any on ya, you sloppy pig Have a more ravioli You a get roly poly, a nice and a big Like you cousin Luigi Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan Capisce paisan, capisce paisan La lasagna La lasagna La lasagna La lasagna Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
Let Me Be Your Hog Let Me Be Your Hog Let me be your hog Let me be your hog, now (snort, snort) I said baby baby baby baby baby Baby baby baby baby baby baby... Weird Al Yankovic |
Like A Surgeon Like A Surgeon I finally made it through med school Somehow I made it through I'm just an intern I still make a mistake or two I was last in my class Barely passsed at the institute Now I'm trying to avoid, yah I'm trying to avoid A malpractise suit Hey, like a surgeon Cuttin' for the very first time Like a surgeon Organ transplants are my line Better give me all your gause nurse This patient's fading fast Complications have set in Don't know how long he'll last Let me see, that I.V. Here we go time to operate I'll pull his indsides out, pull his insides out And see what he ate Like a surgeon, hey Cuttin' for the very first time Like a surgeon Here's a waiver for you to sign Woe, woe, woe It's a fact I'm a quack The disgrace of the A.M.A. 'Cause my patients die, yah my patients die Before they can pay Like a surgeon, hey Cuttin' for the very first time Like a surgeon Got your kidneys on my mind Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon When I reach inside With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh Ooh baby, yah I can hear your heartbeat For the very last time... Weird Al Yankovic |
Livin' In The Fridge Livin' In The Fridge There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive And livin' in the fridge livin' in the fridge Livin' in the fridge livin' in the fridge There's something gross in the fridge today It's green and growin' hair It's been there since July If you can name the object In that baggie over there Then mister, you're a better man than I It's livin' in the fridge You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary) Livin' in the fridge Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary) Livin' in the fridge You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary) Livin' in the fridge Tell me, do you think it should be carbon dated Fumigated or creamated and buried at sea? You try to save a little bit of you're home cookin Couple weeks later, got a scary lookin' specimen It always happens my friend Again & again & again & again Somethin' stinks in the fridge today And it's been rottin' there all week It could be liver cake or wooly mammoth steak Well, maybe I should another peek Livin' in the fridge You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary) Livin' in the fridge Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary) Livin' in the fridge You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary) Livin' in the fridge Livin' in the fridge Don't know what it is, don't know what it is Livin' in the fridge Don't know what it is, don't know what it is Livin' in the fridge Don't know what it is at all Livin' in the fridge, yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah... Weird Al Yankovic |
Melanie Melanie Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap I knew she had to be the girl for me And to think I probably never would have found her If I hadn't bought that telescope Oh, Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me I just can't understand it Why won't you return my phone calls Are you still mad I gave a Mohawk to your cat If you'd just say the word I'm certain that our love would last forever and ever Or are you too dumb to realize that Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me How can you ignore me when you know that I can't live without you I have to go through your garbage just to learn more about you Melanie, ooh Oh sweet Me he he helanie Why won't you go out with me You weren't impressed when I tattooed your name across my forehead You wouldn't listen when I promised to be true I couldn't stand it so I jumped out from the sixteenth story window Right above you Now I may be dead but I still love you Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me I'm singin' Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet, sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me I'm singin' Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me I'm singin' Me he he helanie What can the problem be Sweet Me he he he helanie Why won't you go out with me... Weird Al Yankovic |
Money For Nothing (Beverly Hillbillies) Money For Nothing (Beverly Hillbillies) Huh, now lookie here people Listen to my story A little story 'bout a man named Jed You know something? That poor mountaineer They say he barely kept his family fed Now, let me tell you One day he was shootinOld Jed was shootin' at some food When all of a sudden right up from the ground, there Well, there came a bubblin' crude Oil that is Well, maybe you call it black gold or Texas tea He gonna move next to Mr. Drysdale And be a Beverly hillbilly Before you know it, all the kinfolk are a sayinYeah, buddie, move away from there That little Clampet got his own cement pond That little Clampet, he's a millionaire Now, everyone said Californie Is the place that you oughta be We got to load up this here truck now We got to move to Beverly Hills, that is Swimming pools Move a move a movie stars Huh Lookit that, lookit that Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies Y'all come back now, y'hear? Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies... Weird Al Yankovic |
My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder Oh, my baby, my baby she don't want me no more Ever since she saw his poster in that record store She says the way he grinds his molars is really sexy She thinks he's so darn dysfunctional and "Generation X"y She likes his brooding angst and his wild eyed stare Yeah, he's her very favorite slacker multi millionaire Well, my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder She's all crazy 'bout that Eddie Vedder Once she was mine, but now I better just forget her 'Cause my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder Now, every time I see him, well, he looks so grim I guess it really must suck to be a rock star like him What a pain in the butt to have so much success Spending all his time moping and avoiding the press But my girl can't get enough of his sullen demeanor Like he's some big tortured genious and I'm some kinda wiener Well, my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder She's got a thing for that Eddie Vedder Tell me, what can he do that I can't do better Now my baby's in love with I said I said I said my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder Head over heels for that Eddie Vedder I cant believe it, now she's knitting him a sweater 'Cause my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder I knew we were headin' for disaster When she caught me hangin' out at the Ticketmaster Now she's got an unrequited adoratioon For the frustrated, agitated, designated alienated Spokesman for the disaffected grunge generation Well, I don't wear Doc MArtens and I don't wear flannel And I don't boycott the music video channel And I just can't compete with all that money and fame But I know two can play at this game Yeah, well, let's just see how jealous she'll get When I start stalking Alanis Morissette Well, mny baby's in love with Eddie Vedder She's all crazy 'bout that Eddie Vedder Once she was mine but now I better just forget her 'Cause my baby's in love with I said I said I said my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder Why'd she have to fall for that Eddie Vedder If she wants to leave me, I guess I better let her 'Cause my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder... Weird Al Yankovic |
Ode To A Superhero Ode To A Superhero Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn't have been any shyer Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him Even if his hair was on fire But then one day he went to that science lab That mutated spider came down Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls And he's swingin' all over town La li la, li de da La la, li le la da dum Sling us a web, you're the Spider Man Sling us a web tonight 'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now And there's evil doers to fight Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his Who horns in on Mary Jane But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys Who can kiss upside down in the rain "With great power comes great responsibility" That's the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben If you missed it, don't worry, they'll say the line Again and again and again Oh, la la la, di de da La la, di di da da dom Now Norman's a billionare scientist Who never had time for his son But then something went screw and before you knew he Was trying to kill everyone And he's ridin' around on that glider thing And he's throwin' that weird pumpkin bomb Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask But he's scarier without it on Sling us a web, you're the Spider Man Sling us a web tonight 'Cause you're brave and you're strong and so limber now But where'd you come up with those tights? It's a pretty sad day at the funeral Norman Osborn has bitten the dust And I heard Harry's said he wants Spider Man dead Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down Mary Jane, don't you cry, you can give it a try Again when the sequal comes 'round Oh, la la la, di de da La la, di di da da dum Sling us a web, you're the Spider Man Sling us a web tonight 'Cause we all sure could use us a hero now And we think that you'll do all right... Weird Al Yankovic |
Pancreas Pancreas Oooh oooh oooh ee oooh oooh oooh Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh oooh oooh Oooooh I'm always thinkin' 'bout it I don't know what I'd do without it I love, I really love My pancreas My spleen just doesn't matter Don't really care about my bladder But I don't leave home without My pancreas My pancreas is always There for me Ahh oooh Secreting those enzymes (bap bap bap) Secreting those hormones too Metabolizing carbohydrates Just for me Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba My pancreas Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba My pancreas Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba My pancreas Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba My pancreas Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba My pancreas Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba My pancreas Ooooooh My pancreas attracts every other Pancreas in the universe With a force proportional To the product of their masses And inversely proportional To the distance between them Woo woo woo woo Don'tcha you know you gotta Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice Flow, flow, into the deuodenum Won'tcha Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice Flow, flow, into the deuodenum Insulin, glucagon (Won'tcha flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice) Comin' from the islets of Langerhans (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Insulin, glucagon (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Comin' from the islets of Langerhans (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow, flow flow, pancreatic juice) They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans) (Flow flow, into the deuodenium) Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas {Lipase, amylase, and tripsin} (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly gee I love my pancreas They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly gee I love my pancreas They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly-gee I love my pancreas They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas... Weird Al Yankovic |
Party At The Leper Colony Party At The Leper Colony Finger food and an ice cold keg It won't cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand Saturday night, it's the place to be Everybody cut footloose with me At the party at the leper colony Oh, there's a party at the leper colony Hey Met a little lady so pretty and young She was quite a little talker 'till the cat got her tongue She oozed up beside me, I turned on my charm Well, pretty soon she was completely disarmed I said, "Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me" But she cried her eyes out - literally At the party at the leper colony Oh, there's a party at the leper colony Hey, hey Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip Sorry I was using your head for dip There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who Wait a minute, it looks like Stu Well, hold the phone now, what do I see? Another pretty mama got her eye on me At the party at the leper colony Oh, there's a party at the leper colony There's a party at the leper colony (Party at the leper colony) There's a party at the leper colony (Party at the leper colony) Oh, there's a party at the leper colony Yeah, party at the leper colony Well, there's a party at the leper colony (Party at the leper colony) Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
Phony Calls Phony Calls Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening And you're stuck inside the house all alone That's when you decide it might be fun to harrass someone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their refrigerator is running Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin' 'em from They'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet Listen to me Don't go makin' phony calls Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to I know that you think it's funny drivin' folks right up the wall But it's really gettin' old fast Little Melvin has a natural obsession Askin' for Prince Albert in a can He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan He's callin' strangers up at three in the morning Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four He won't be laughin' when they're tracin his line One day the phone police will be there at his door Yo, hear me Don't go makin' phoney calls Only dial the seven digit numbers you're used to Swear someday I'm gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall How long is this phase gonna last? Come on (Moe) Moe's Taverne Where the elite meet to drink. (Bart) Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch. (Moe) Hold on; I'll check. (Moe) My crotch! My crotch! Hey, has anybody seen my crotch lately? (others laughing) (Moe) Listen to me, you little puke. (Moe) One of these days, I'm gonna catch you (Moe) And I'm gonna carve my name on your back with an icepick! (Bart laughing) Don't go makin' phoney calls Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to You went through the New Yourk City phone book and prank called 'em all Hope that you grow out of this fast Grow out of this fast Don't go makin' phoney calls Only dial the seven digit numbers you're used to But you think it's funny drivin' folks right up the wall But it's really gettin' old fast... Weird Al Yankovic |
Polka Power Polka Power Yeah, I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want So tell us what you want, what you really really want I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want So tell us what you want, what you really really want I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha I wanna really really really wanna zigga zigga ah If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta get with my friends) Make it last forever, friendship never ends If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give (you've got to give) Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is Hey! I'm not sick, but I'm not well And I'm so hot, 'cause I'm in hell I'm not sick, but I'm not well And it's a sin (yes it's a sin) to live so well Ghetto superstar that is what you are Coming from afar, reaching for the stars Run away with me, to another place We can rely on each other, uh huh From one corner to another, uh huh Everybody (yeah) Rock your body (yeah) Everybody Rock your body right Backstreet's back, all right All right So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out But now if you're still alive, six to eight years to arrive And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow but if the offer's shun You might as well be walking on the sun Might as well be walking on the sun Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down Quicker than a ray of light Quicker than a ray of light Quicker than a ray of liight I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will I wanna take you for granted I wanna take you for granted Yeah, yeah, well I will I want something else To get me through this semi charmed kinda life, baby baby I want something else I'm not listening when you say good-bye Doot doot doot doot do do do Doot doot doot doot do do do Doot doot doot doot do do do Do do do do do do There's lots of pretty, pretty ones That want to get you high But all the pretty, pretty ones Will leave you low and blow your mind We're all stars now in the dope show We're all stars now in the dope show Mmmbop, do floppa do wop Do be dop ah Do wap, do zap ah, do Yeah ee yeah Mmmbop, do b'zap ah, do wop Do be dop ah Do wop, doom zap ah, do I smell sex and candy here Who's that lounging in my chair Who's that casting devious stares in my direction Mama, this surely is a dream Yeah, yeah mama, this surely is a dream Dig it, yeah mama, this surely is Closing time One last call for alcohol So finish your whiskey or beer Closing time You don't have to go home But you can't stay here I know who I wanna take me home I know who I wanna take me home I know who I wanna take me home Take us home 'Cause it's closing time Yeah it's closing time We're talkin' 'bout closin' time It's really closin' time Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
Polka Your Eyes Out Polka Your Eyes Out Rock the cradle of love. Rock the cradle of love Yes, the cradle of love Don't rock easy, it's true Rock the cradle of love I rocked the cradle of love Yes, the cradle of love Don't rock easy, it's true Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doodoo doo (Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo) The Love Shack is a little old place where We can get together Love Shack, baby (Love Shack, baby, Love Shack) Hey! Pump up the jam (hey!). Pump up the jam (hey!) Pump up the jam, pump it up! That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion Trying to keep a view And I don't know if I can to it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough The things you say Your purple prose just gives you away The things you say You're unbelieveable (Oh!) Do me, baby. Do me, baby You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night You can do me when you wanna do me Yodalodaladyhoo! Exit light Enter night Take my hand Off to never never land The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump Do me, baby Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do me, baby Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump She's my cherry pie Put a smile on your face ten miles wide Look so good, make a grown man cry Sweet cherry pie yi yi Woo! Drum solo! I miss you so much (M-O-I miss you so much) I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you so much) I miss you so much (M-O-I miss you so much) I really miss you much Hey, I don't want anybody else When I think about you I touch myself Oh, I don't want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no no no He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood He's the one that makes you fell all right He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood He's gonna be your Frankenstein Let's kick it! If you got a problem, (yo!) I'll solve it Check out the beat while the DJ revolves it Ice ice baby Ice ice baby Word to your mother! Ice ice baby Ice ice baby forever I'll be your ife ice baby! Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
Polkarama Polkarama Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here And the base keeps runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' I say don't you know You say you don't go I say... take me out! I say you don't show Don't move, time is slow I say (gunshot) take me out! Beverly Hills That's where I want to be (gimme, gimme) Living in Beverly Hills Beverly Hills Rolling like a celebrity (gimme, gimme) Living in Beverly Hills And birds go flying at the speed of sound To show you how it all began Birds came flying from the underground If you could see it then you'd understand (Accordion Solo) And we'll all float on ok And we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Now don't you worry we'll all float on Alright Feel good Feel good Feel good Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Dont cha? Dont cha? Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Dont cha? Dont cha? Dont cha? Dont cha? Somebody told me You had a boyfriend Who looked like a girlfriend That I had in February of last year It's not confidential Well, I've got potential A rushin' and rushin' around Hey! I'll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollypop Go 'head girl, don't you stop Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah) We'll take you to the candy shop (yeah) Boy one taste of what we got (un'huh) We'll have you spending all you got (come on) Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah) When the pimp's in the crib ma Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot When the pigs try to get at ya Park it like it's hot Park it like it's hot Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up? All the gal pon the dancefloor wantin' some more what Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up? Hey Mr. Please Mr. DJ Tell me if you hear me Turn the music up! She take my money (she take my money) When I'm in need (when I'm in need) Yea she's a triflin' friend indeed (friend indeed) Oh she's a gold digga way over town (way over town) That digs on me Hey! Hey! Now I aint sayin she's a gold digger But she aint messin wit' no broke broke Now I aint sayin she's a gold digger But she ain't messin wit' no broke broke Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head But I ain't sayin' she's a Gold gold digger (gold gold) Gold gold digger (gold gold) Gold gold digger (gold gold) Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
Pretty Fly For A Rabbi Pretty Fly For A Rabbi Veren zol fun dir a blintsa (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick I tell ya, he's to dies for he really knows his shtick So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew? Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too Workin' like a dog at the synagogue He's there all day, he's there all day Just say and he'll kick into gear He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer Just grab your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing! (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi) He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal! People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!" He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul What's not to like? What's not to like? On high holy days, you know he prays and prays And he never eats pastrami on white breath with mayonnaise Put on your yarmulka and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing! When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey (How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho He's doin' well, I gotta kvell The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell Show up at his home, he says "Shalom" And "Have some cake you want some cake?" Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz So grab your yarmulka The one you got for Chanukah Let's put on our yarmulkas and Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing... Weird Al Yankovic |
She Drives Like Crazy She Drives Like Crazy Where'd you learn how to steer You do eighty in second gear When you drive, I can't relax Got your license from Cracker Jacks You just hit another tree These fender benders are killin' me She drives like crazy Like noone else She drives like crazy And I'm afraid for myself They'll put you behind bars We're not playin' bumper cars Did a great figure eight In the middle of the interstate Tires squeel wherever we go Even hitchhikers just say no She drives like crazy Her car's a mess She drives like crazy She's got a death wish I guess She's a demon Behind the wheel Thinks she's drivin The Batmobile Burnin' rubber in school zones Runnin' over the traffic cones Passin' "semi"s on the right Now my knuckles are turnin' white She drives like crazy She'll break your necks She drives like crazy She always gets into wrecks She drives like crazy Like noone else She drives like crazy Now I'm afraid for myself She drives like crazy Like noone else She drives like crazy And I'm afraid for myself... Weird Al Yankovic |
She Never Told Me She Was A Mime She Never Told Me She Was A Mime When we first met she seemed perfectly normal I never dreamed she'd make my life so hard You see, my baby, she started to change Started lookin' kinda strange Wearin' all that white makeup and those black leotards Well, I guess she kept her little secret pretty well Now, ever since I learned the horrible truth, you know my life has been a living hell That's right, you see She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the time She never told me, she never told me whe was a Ma ma ma ma ma ma mime I wish we both could just talk it all over But my baby won't even make a sound Now she makes everybody sick Doin' that pantomime shtick Even our old friends have stopped coming around Well, mmy parents can't stand her and our neighbors hate her guts She's really, really embarrassing me this silent treatment's driving me nuts You see She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Now she's actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the time what a crime She never told me (she never told me) she never told me she was a mime She walks against the wind everywhere we go Stops at every corner, gotta put on a show Carries 'round a picture of Marcel Marceau Always the wuiet type, but how was I know to know? She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the ti yi yi yi yi yi yime She never told me, she never told me whe was a mime... Weird Al Yankovic |
Since You've Been Gone Since You've Been Gone Since you've been gone Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil Since you've been gone It's like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I'm feelin like I stuck my hand Inside a blender and turned it on You know, I've been in a buttload of pain Since you've been gone (Since you've been gone) I couldn't feel any worse if you dropped A two ton bowling ball on my toes (Since you've been gone) It couldn't hurt any more if you shoved A red hot cactus up my nose Since you've been gone Well, it feels like I'm getting tetanus shots every day Since you've been gone It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away Ever since that day you left me I've been so miserable, my dear I feel almost as bad as I did When you were still here... Weird Al Yankovic |
Six Words Long (This Song's Just) Six Words Long (This Song's Just) This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long Couldn't think of any lyrics No I never wrote the lyrics So I'll just sing any old lyrics That come to mind, child You really need words Whole lotta rhyming words You gotta rhyme so many words, mm mm To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it To do it, to do it right, child This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long I know that you're probably sore 'Cause I didn't write any more I just didn't get to complete it So that's why I gotta repeat it This song is just six words long (six words long) This song is just six words long (six words long) Oh I make a lotta money They pay me a ton of money They're payin' me plenty of money To sing this song, child I gotta fill time Three minutes worth of time Oh, how will I fill so much time, mm mm I'll throw in a solo, a solo, a solo A solo, a solo here This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song is just six words long This song's got nothin' to say But I'm recording it anyway I know if I put my mind to it I know I could find a good rhyme here Oh, you gotta have a music You need really catchy music This song has got plenty of music But just six words, child And so I'll sing' em over And over and over and over And over and over and over, mm mm And over and over and over And over and over and over again Six words long, six words long Six words long, six words long Six words long, six words long This song is just six words long It's just six words long... Weird Al Yankovic |
Slime Creatures From Outer Space Slime Creatures From Outer Space Things just haven't been the same Since the flying saucer came Now the aliens are on the loose Well, we tried to hold 'em back Tried to ward off their attack But our atom bombs were just no use They were ugly, they were mean Biggest heads I ever seen They made everybody scream and shout First they leveled Tokyo Then New York was next to go Boy I really wish they'd cut it out They wasted everybody on my block There goes the neighborhood They'll zap you with their death ray eyes And blow you up real good Run for your lives (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) They're not very nice to the human race (Slime creatures from outer space) There's more comin' every day And they just won't go away Now they're reproducing in the sewers They got slimy lizard skin And an evil lookin' grin And they sure could use some manicures They got hands all covered with fungus They got eyes like some kinda bug I sure hope they don't come in here I just shampooed the rug Run for your lives (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) They're really makin' a mess of this place. (Slime creatures) (Slime creatures) (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) They'll rip your head off just for fun They'll paralyze your mind They're wearin' out their welcome I don't think I like their kind They'll suck your brain out through a straw You just can't trust those guys So hide the children, lock the doors And always watch the skies Look out, here come the (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) They're an intergalactic disgrace (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) I wish they'd just get outta my face (Slime creatures from outer space) (Slime creatures from outer space) They're makin' a big fat mess of this place (Slime creatures) (Slime creatures) Oh, where did they come from? What do they want from us? Who do they think they are? (Slime creatures, slime creatures) Why don't they leave me alone? (Slime creatures, slime creatures.) They're really getting on my nerves... Weird Al Yankovic |
Smells Like Nirvana Smells Like Nirvana What is this song all about? Can't figure any lyrics out How do the words to it go? I wish you'd tell me, I don't know Don't know, don't know, don't know, I don't know! Don't know, don't know, don't know Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin And I don't know what I'm singin Crank the volume, ears are bleedin I still don't know what I'm singin We're so loud and incoherent Boy, this oughta bug your parents Yeah! belch hing! It's unintelligible I just can't get it through my skull It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss with all these marbles in my mouth Don't know, don't know, don't know, I don't know! Don't know, don't know, don't know Well, we don't sound like Madonna Here we are now, we're Nirvana Sing distinctly? We don't wanna Buy our album, we're Nirvana A garage band from Seattle Well it sure beats raisin' cattle Yeah! moo baa And I forgot the next verse Oh well, I guess it pays to rehearse The lyric sheet's so hard to find What are the words, oh nevermind Don't know, don't know, don't know, I don't know! Don't know, don't know, don't know Well, I'm yellin' and we're playin But I don't know what I'm sayin What's the message I'm conveyin'? Can you tell me what I'm sayin'? So have you got some idea? Didn't think so Well, I'll see ya Sayonara, sayonawa Ayonawa, hodinawa Odinaya, yodinaya Yaddayadda, yaaahyaah Ayiyaaah... Weird Al Yankovic |
Spam Spam Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork) Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy) Spam in my luchbox at work (it's the best) Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it at all If you're running low, go to the store Carry some money to help you buy more The tab is there to open the can The can is there to hold in the spam Oh, spam on the table at home (ham and pork) Think about selection, are there different flavors now (let's eat) Spam in my office at work (it's the best) Think about the stuff its made from, wonder if it's mystery of meat If you need a spoon, keep one around Carry a thermose to help wash it down Now, if there's some left, don't just throw it out Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now Spam in my pantry at home (have some more) Think of expiration, better read the lable (oh boy) Spam breakfast, dinner, or lunch (it's the best) Think about how it's been precooked, wonder if I'll just eat it cold Now, once you start in, you can't put it down Don't leave it sitting or it'll turn brown The key is going to open the tin The tin is there to keep the spam in Oh, spam (spam) Ham and pork Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy) Spam (spam) It's the best Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it Spam in the place where I live (have some more) Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a junkie now (let's eat) Spam in the place where I work (you're obsessed) Think about the way it's processed, wonder if it's some kind of meat Spam in the back of my car (ham and pork) Spam any place that you are (ham and pork) The tab is there to open the can (spam any place that you are) (ham and pork) The can is there to hold in the spam (spam any place that you are) (ham and pork) Weird Al Yankovic |
Spatula City Spatula City (Announcer) There's just one place to go for all of your spatula needs (Random Voice) Spatula City (Random Voice) Spatula City (Announcer) A giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion. Thousands to choose from in every shape, size, and color. And because we eliminate the middle man, we can sell all our spatulas factory direct to you. Where do you go if you want to buy name brand spatulas at a fraction of retail cost? (Random Voice) Spatula City (Random Voice) Spatula City (Announcer) And this weekend only, take advantage of our special liquidation sale. Buy nine spatulas, get the tenth one for just one penny. Don't forget, they make great Christmas presents. And what better way to say "I love you." than with the gift of a spatula? (Random Voice) Spatula City (Random Voice) Spatula City (Sy Greenblum) Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I liked their spatulas so much, I bought the company. (Announcer) Spatula City seven locations; we're in the yellow pages under "spatulas". (Neighbor) My, where did you get that lovely spatula? (Singers) Spatula City: We sell apatulas, and that's all... Weird Al Yankovic |
Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet Next comes the part that I won't ever forget Now I'm bein' followed by these Russian spies They give me some velcro, and an order of fries Suddenly I'm bowling on the Starship Enterprise I fall down a hole and that's when I realize I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night All right Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insane Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaur Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door And I'm back in the very same place I was before Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night And I can't bust out and I can't break free And it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for me And I can't go home and I can't get loose And I try to escape but it's just no use And I can't ever leave and I can't ever win And we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' in And I can't go back and I can't get through But Vanna since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from you Come on Vanna, come on Ow, buh Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again That's right, I even wake up screaming now and then See, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my address I'm half an hour late for my algebra test Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest And I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the rest I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White Stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night night night Then I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya ya ya ya, ya ya, ya, ya ya) I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya) I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White... Weird Al Yankovic |
Syndicated Inc Syndicated Inc My whole family Loves "Three's Company" See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what's on the tube I know just what too see Got my TV Guide with me "MASH" and "All In The Family" "The Munsters" and "Mayberry R.F.D." I will always be busy Watching my TV Oprah Winfrey talks to me Every day at three Then soon it'll be "Wheel" and "Jeopardy" Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Well, I'm in such ecstacy When I'm watchin' TV I'm a boob tube devotee Think I'm losin' my sanity I'm addicted to Regis & Kathy Lee Forever I will always be Glued to my TV Love "The Partridge Family" And "Dynasty" And "Laverne & Shirley" And "Hard Copy" Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated ("MASH" and "All In The Family") (I know just what too see) Syndicated Incorporated (I'm addicted to Regis & Kathy Lee) (I know what's on the tube) Syndicated Incorporated (Forever I will always be) (I know just what to see) Syndicated Incorporated (Watching my TV) (I know what's on the tube) Syndicated Incorporated (Think I'm losin' my sanity) (I know just what to see) Syndicated Incorporated... Weird Al Yankovic |
Taco Grande Taco Grande Taco grande. Taco grande Yo quiero chimichangas y chile colorado Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado Las flautas y tamales, siempre muy bueno Y el chile relleno You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada That's right, I want the whole enchilada My only addiction has to do with a flour tortilla I need a quesadilla I love to stuff my face with tacos al carbón With my friends, or when I'm all alone Yo tengo mucho hambre y ahora lo quiero Un burrito ranchero So give me something spicy and hot, now Break out the menu, what you got, now? Oh, would you tell the waiter I'd like to have sour cream on the side You better make sure the beans are refried Taco grande. Taco grande Well, there's not a taco big enough for a man like me That's why I order two or three Let me give you a tip, just try a nacho chip It's really good with bean dip I eat uno, dos, tres, quarto burritos Pretty soon I can't fit in my Speedos Well, I hope they feed us lots of chicken fajitas And a pitcher of margaritas Well, the combination plates all come with beans and rice The taquitos here are very nice Now I'm down on my knees, we need some extra tomatoes and cheese And could you make that separate checks, please? Taco grande. Taco grande "Buenos noches, senor. bienvenido a el burritos casa de salsa. tenemos muchos platos muy sabrosos si puedo recomendar el ardiente pollo al infierno muy delicioso. sus ojos se quemaran, su estomago estara en fuego, se quedaran en el baño por una semana, entiendes lo que digo gringo estupido tonto?" Well, the food is coming, I can hardly wait Now watch your fingers, careful hot plate! What you think you're doing with my chile con queso? Well, if you want some, just say so Oh boy, pico de gallo They sure don't make it like this in Ohio No gracias, yo quiero jalepeños, nada más You can toss away the hot sauce ?Donde estan los nachos? Holy frijole! You better get me a bowl of guacamole Y Uusted, Eugene? Why's your face turning green? Don't you like pinto beans? You want some more cinnamon crispas? If you don't, hasta la vista Just take the rest home in a doggie bag if you wanna You can finish it mañana Well, it's been a pleasure, I can't eat no more Señor, la cuenta, por favor If you ain't tried real Mexican cooking, well, you oughta Just don't drink the water... Weird Al Yankovic |
Talk Soup Talk Soup I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now My dog's a narcoleptic My mom's a circus freak I gotta get a spot on Geraldo's show this week 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict Stripper born without a chin And I'm only comfortable talking about it When the whole wide world is listening in Talk Soup Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me My wife ran off with Elvis My boss shaved off my hair I've got a thing for poodles And rubber underwear And I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I had a close encounter I never chew my food I got eleven nose jobs I yodel in the nude And I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I'm just a cross dressin' alcoholic neo Nazi Porno star, as you may have guessed And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better If you let me get this thing off my chest Talk Soup Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac Albino go go dancer, you see Nothin' so bad that I can't share it With a billion friends on national TV, whoa... I have no genitalia I sold my kids for cheese I love my blow up doll, so Bring out those cameras, please 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right Now Talk Soup Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me Talk Soup Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me Talk Soup Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me Talk Soup Talk Soup Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me... Weird Al Yankovic |
The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming After working all year down at Big Roy's Heating And Plumbing So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world, now Where'd you like to go ta" They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota So the very next day we loaded up the car With potato skins and pickled weiners, Crossword puzzles, Spider Man comics, and mama's home made rhubarb pie Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors, they all waved goodbye And so began our three day journey We picked up a guy holding a sign that said "twine ball or bust" He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down, yelling "Are we there yet?" And all of us were joined together in one common thought As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota Oh, we couldn't wait to get there So we drove straight through for three whole days and nights Of course, we stopped for more pickled weiners now and then The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids could've seen it But you can't see out of the side of the car Because the windows are completely covered With the decals from all the places where we've already been Like Elvis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum, The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World, The Shuffleboard Hall Of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock, And The Mecca of Albino Squirrels We've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums, And the place where you can drive through the middle of a tree We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches, But there's still one thing we gotta see Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39 And we saw the sign that said "Twine Ball exit - 50 miles" Oh, the kids were so happy they started singing "99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the 27th time that day So, we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station Got a few more pickled weiners and a diet chocolate soda On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota We're gonna see the biggest ball of tiwne in Minnesota Finally, at 7:37 early Wednesday evening as the sun was setting in the Minnesota sky Out in the distance, on the horizon, it appeared to me like a vision before my unbelieving eyes I parked the car and walked with awe filled reverence towards that glorious huge majestic sphere I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer imensity, I had to pop myself a beer Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays, in a little shrine under a makeshift pagoda, There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota Oh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing? Oh, windin' up twenty one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string What was he trying to prove, who was he trying to impress Why did he build it, how did he do it, it's anybody's guess Where did he get the twine, what was goin' through his mind Did it just seem like a good idea at the time Well, we walked up beside it and I warned the kids "Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason" I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car and we can take it home", but I was only teasinThen we went to the gift shop and stood in line Bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine, some window decals, and anything else they'd sell us And I bought a couple postcards, "Greetings from the twine ball, wish you were here" Won't the folks back home be jealous I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball and we all gathered 'round and said, "Cheese" The Bernie ran away with my brand new Insta-matic, but at least we got our memories Then we all just stared at the ball for a while and my eyes got moist, but I said with a smile, "Kids, this here's what America's all about" Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside and I fell on my knees and I cried and cried And that's when those security guards threw us out You know, I bet if we unravelled that sucker, It'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota 'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota Well, we stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn In the morning we were on our way home again But we really didn't want to leave, that was perfectly clear I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go" Then I winked my eye and I said, "You know, I got a funny kind of feelin' we'll be comin' back again next year" 'Cause I've been all around this great big world And I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go to Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota Minnesota... Weird Al Yankovic |
The Hot Rocks Polka The Hot Rocks Polka If I could stick my hand in my heart Spill it all over the stage Would it satisfy you Would it slide on by you Would you think the boy is strange Ain't it stra a ange If I could win If I could sing A love song so divine Would it be enough for your cheating heart If I broke down and cried If I cri i ied I said, "Ah no, It's only rock 'n' roll But I like it Ah no, it's only rock 'n' roll But I like it, like it Yes I do I really really really really do do do do do" Hey Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields Sold in a market down in New Orleans Scarred old slaver knows he's doin' all right Hear they whip the women just around midnight Brown sugar How come you taste so good Brown sugar Just like a young girl should I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would make her connection By her feet was a footloose man You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes You might find You get what you need You need honkey tonk women Gimme gimme gimme the honkey tonk blues Under my thumb The girl who once had me down Under my thumb The girl who once pushed me around It's down to me Yes it is The way she talks when she's spoken to Down to me The change has come She's under my thumb So, goodbye ruby Tuesday Who could hang a name on you When you change with every new day Still, I'm gonna miss you Who who who who who Who who who who who Who who who who who Who who who who who Please allow me to introdue myself I'm a man of wealth and taste (woo woo) I've been around for a long long year So many a man sold a faith (woo woo) Pleased to meet you (woo woo) Hope you guessed (woo woo) my name (woo woo woo woo) 'Cause what's bothering you (woo woo) Is the nature (woo woo) of my game (woo woo woo woo) I said, "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud! Hey! You! Get off of my cloud! Hey! You! Get off of my cloud! Don't hang around because two's a crowd Shay do bay, shatter, shay do bay, shatter Laughter, joy, and lonliness And sex and sex and sex and sex Look at me I'm in tatters Shay do bay, I'm shattered Shay do bay, shatter This doesn't happen to me every day, oh my Let's spend the night together No excuses offered anyway, oh my Let's spend the night together I'll satisfy your every need (every need) And I know you'll satisfy me Ma ma ma ma ma ma my Let's spend the night together Now I need you more than ever Let's spend the night together now Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma my I can't get no Satisfaction I can't get no Girlie action 'Cause I try (and I try) and I try (and I try) And I try (and I try) and I try (and I try) I can't get no I can't get no I can't get no Satisfaction Satisfaction... Weird Al Yankovic |
The Night Santa Went Crazy The Night Santa Went Crazy Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Merry Christmas to all now you're all gonna die!" The night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!" The night Santa went crazy The night Kris Kringle went nuts Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole Without steppin' in reindeer guts There's the National Guard and the F.B.I. There's a van from the Eyewitness News And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risinAnd everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why? My my my my my my You used to be such a jolly guy Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time In a federal prison for his infamous crime Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights They're talkin' bout the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nicholas flipped Broke his back for some milk and cookies Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped Wo, the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he's gettin' a raw deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain... Weird Al Yankovic |
The Plumbing Song The Plumbing Song (Announcer) "Who fixes plumbing problems in a flash? Twenty four hours a day? Seven days a week?") Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand But plumbing's one thing I don't understand It's true (Haven't got a clue) Baby, I can tell you've got a big problem When I flush the john, then your shower goes on (Baby) Now watcha gonna do? If Drano's a joke and your plunger is broke Baby, call the mensch with a monkey wrench (Baby) He'll be there for you Shower's backing up (up, up)? Water won't go down (down, down)? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby Don't forget my plumber Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby Sink's been stopped up all summer Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby Better call the plumber He'll know what to do Pipes been blowing up Pipes been breaking down And the carpet's soaked right through Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba, kitchen's flooded, too Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba, girl, you know it's true Betcha this guy makes more than my lawer If he works for one day, costs you half a year's pay (Baby) He can be here by 2:00 So if you've got cash, he'll be there in a flash Makin' service calls in his overalls (Baby) He'll do his best for you Sewer's backing up (up, up)? Got you feelin' down (down, down)? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby Don't forget my plumber Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby Leaky pipes are a bummer Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, baby Time to call the plumber Maybe call a few Got a problem with plumbing? Gotta blame it on something Blame it on the drain it was cloggin', cloggin Blame it on the faucet that drips all night If hairballs, grease and goo Won't let the water through Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah When I flush the john, now when I flush the john It turns your shower on (Roto-Rooter 6-5000) Ba ba-ba ba, baby Better call my plumber He'll know what to do... Weird Al Yankovic |
The Saga Begins The Saga Begins A long, long time ago In a galaxy far away Naboo was under an attack And I thought me and Qui Gon Jinn Could talk the federation into Maybe cutting them a little slack But their response, it didn't thrill us They locked the doors and tried to kill us We escaped from that gas Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass We took a bongo from the scene And we went to Theed to see the Queen We all wound up on Tatooine That's where we found this boy Oh my my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Did you know this junkyard slave Isn't even old enough to shave But he can use the Force, they say Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen Though he's just nine and she's fourteen Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday Well, I know he built C-3PO And I've heard how fast his pod can go And we were broke, it's true So we made a wager or two He was a prepubescent flyin' ace And the minute Jabba started off that race Well, I knew who would win first place Oh yes, it was our boy We started singin' My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Now we finally got to Coruscant The Jedi Council we knew would want To see how good the boy could be So we took him there and we told the tale How his midi chlorians were off the scale And he might fulfill that prophecy Oh, the Council was impressed, of course Could he bring balance to the Force? They interview the kid Oh, training they forbid Because Yoda sensed in him much fear And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here" "Just stick it in your pointy ear" "I still will teach this boy" He was singin' My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" We caught a ride back to Naboo 'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to I frankly would've liked to stay We all fought in that epic war And it wasn't long at all before Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day And in the end some Gunguns died Some ships blew up and some pilots fried A lot of folks were croakinThe battle droids were broken And the Jedi I admire most Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost I guess I'll train this boy And I was singin' My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" We were singin' My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Weird Al Yankovic |
The Weird Al Show Theme The Weird Al Show Theme Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory And he played on the company bowling team And every single night he had a strange recurring dream Where he was wearing lederhose in a vat of sour cream But that's really not important to the story Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist With a spatula tattooed on her arm (on her arm) But he didn't keep in touch And he lost her number Then he got himself a job on a tator tot farm And he spent his life savings on a split level cave Twenty miles below the surface of the Earth (of the Earth) And he really makes a might fine jelly bean and pickle sandwich For what it's worth Then one day Al was in the forest trying to get a tan When he heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man He was caught in a bear trap and Al set him free And the guy that he rescued was grateful as could be And it turns out he's a big shot producer on TV So he gives Al a contract and whaddya know Now he's got his very own Weird Al show (Much unintelligible talking and yelling) Weird Al Yankovic |
The White Stuff The White Stuff The white stuff, The white stuff The first one was a sweet one Second one was a blast Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast You can see 'em in my teeth Tell it when I talk Had so many my pancreas just went into shock I love the white stuff, baby In the middle of an Oreo I love the white stuff, baby It's the most delicious thing I know I've had a zillion or two In my life, they're so right My teeth are all rotted clear through But who cares? What else am I supposed to do? Oh oh oh oh oh Oreo Oh oh oh oh oh , the white stuff Oh oh oh oh oh Oreo What's in the middle? The white stuff The first time that I tried it Got a big sugar buzz Nothing gets me high as that sandwhich cookie does But I love the filling most I rub it on my roast Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast I love the white stuff, baby In the middle of an Oreo I love the white stuff, baby Take some with me everywhere I go Might get a pimple or two Well, so what? It's all right Now Twinkies and Ding Dongs won't do All I need You know what it is Oh oh oh oh oh, Oh Oreo Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff Oh oh oh oh oh, Oh Oreo Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff Oh oh oh oh oh, Oh Oreo What's in the middle? The white stuff... Weird Al Yankovic |
This Is The Life This Is The Life I eat filet mignon seven times a day My bathtub's filled with Perrier What can I say This is the life I buy a dozen cars when I'm in the mood I hire somebody to chew my food I'm an upwardly mobile dude This is the life They say that money corrupts you But I can't really tell I got the whole world at my feet And I think it's pretty swell I got women lined up outside my door They've been waitin' there since the week before Who could ask for more This is the life You're dead for a real long time You just can't prevent it So if money can't buy happiness I guess I'll have to rent it Yeah, every day I make the front page news No time to pay my dues I got a million pairs of shoes This is the life I got a solid gold Cadillac I make a fortune while I sleep You can tell I'm a living legend Not some ordinary creep No way, I'm the boss, the big cheese Yeah, I got this town on its knobby little knees And I can do just what I please This is the life That's right, I'm the king, number one I buy monographed Kleenex by the ton I pay the bills, I call the shots I grease the palms, I buy the yachts One thing I can guarantee The best things in life, they sure ain't free It's such a thrill just to be me This is the life Waah, this is the life... Weird Al Yankovic |
Traffic Jam Traffic Jam Carbon monoxide Making me choke No A.C. And the radio's broke Cars backed up Far as you can see Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity Oh, and just in case you're wondering I'll tell you where I am I'm right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the middle of this Traffic jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic jam My radiator's boiling hot And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle) Right here in the middle of a traffic jam Trapped inside My automobile Cobweb's gowinOn the steerin' wheel Now, I'm no genius But one thing I know I shouldn't have had that bag of bran muffins An hour and a half ago Yeah, and if you need to find me I'll tell you where I am I'm right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck smack dab in the middle of this Traffic jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic jam Well, I thought we were movin' but I guess we're not 'Cause I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle) Right here in the middle of a traffic jam Stuck in the middle of a traffic jam yeah yeah yeah yeah Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper Yay hey! There's a yuppie on a cellular phone I'm gonna puke if I here any more There's a motorcycle zoomin' by me Watch what happens when I open my door Now we're all goin' nowhere fast Well, I guess that's perfectly clear I left home five hours ago And I can still see my house from here So if anybody's tryin' to find me Well, I'll tell you where I am Right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the middle of this Traffic jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic jam Now my back teeth are floatin' and my nerves are shot And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle) Stuck right here in the middle of a traffic jam Traffic Jam traffic jam traffic jam woo... Weird Al Yankovic |
| Bütün Zaman Ayarları WEZ +3 olarak düzenlenmiştir. Şu Anki Saat: 23:57 . |
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