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Trapped In The Drive Thru Trapped In The Drive Thru Seven O'Clock in the evening Watchin somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me She says "Is this 'Behind the Music' With Lynard Skynard?" And I say "I don't know. Say, it's gettin' late watcha wanna do for dinner? She says "I kinda had a big lunch. So I'm not super hungry." I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either But I could eat." She said "So whadya have in mind?" I said "I don't know what about you?" She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat." I said "That's what we're gonna do!" "But first you gotta tell me What it is you're hungry for!" And she says "Let me think What's left in our refridgerator?" I said "Well, there's tuna, I know." She said "That went bad a week ago!" I said "Is the chili OK?" She said "You finished that yesterday!" I hopped up and I said "I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?" She's like "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver!" I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'." She's like "I heard you say liver!" I'm like "I should know what I said" She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!" Well I was gonna say something But my cell phone started to ring Now who could be callin' me? Well I checked my caller ID It was just cousin Larry Callin' for the third time today My wife said "Let it go to voicemail." I said, "OK." "Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right So what d'ya want to do?" She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah," I said, "Why don't you?" And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?" I says "No" She says "Yes" I says "No" She says "Yes" I says "No" She says "Yes... Oh, here's your keys" I step a little bit closer Say "OK, where ya want to go?" She says "How about The Ivy?" I said "Yeah, well I don't know" I don't feel like gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive food She's says "Olive Garden?" I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood And Burrito King would make me gassy There's no doubt" She says "Just forget about it" I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!" Then I get an idea I says "I know what we'll do!" She says "What?" I say "Guess" She says "What?" I say "We're goin' to the drive thru!" So we head out the front door Open the garage door Then I open the car doors And we get in those car doors Put my key in the ignition And then I turn it sideways Then we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the driveway Then we drive to the drive thru Heading off to the drivethru We're approaching the drive thru Getting close to the drive thru! Almost there at the drive thru Now we're here at the drive thru Here in line at the drive thru Did I mention the drive thru? Well here we are In the drive thru line, me and her. Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. All just waiting to order There's some idiot in a Volvo With his brights on behind me I lean out the window and scream "Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?" My wife says "Maybe we should park... We could just go eat inside." I said "I'm wearin' bunny slippers So I ain't leavin' this ride" Now a woman on a speaker box Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?" I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese." Then my wife says "Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead, this time" I said "You always get a cheeseburger!" She says "That's not what I'm hungry for." I put my head in my hands and screamed, "I don't know who you are anymore!" The voice on the speaker says "I don't have all day!" I said "Then, take our order, And we'll be on our way! I wanna get a chicken sandwich And I want a cheeseburger, too She's like "You want onions on that?" I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do Plus we need curly fries And don't you dare forget it! And two medium root beers No, just one, we'll split it." Then I said "I'm guessin' that You're probably not too bright... So read me back my order Let's make sure you got it right." She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich. Two, you want a cheeseburger Three, curly fries, and a large root beer" "Stop, don't go no further!" "I never ordered a large rootbeer I said medium, not large!" Then she says "We're havin' a special, I supersized you at no charge." "Oh." And that's all I could say, was "Oh." And she says "Now there is somethin' else That I really think you should know. You can have unlimited refills For just a quarter more" I say "Great, except we're in the drive thru So what would I want that for?" Then she says "Wait a minute Your voice sounds so familiar hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like "No, that ain't Paul, Now tell me, who's this Paul? She says "Oh, he's just some guy Who goes to school with me. I sat behind him last year And I copied off him in Geometry. I said "I know a guy named Paul. He used to be my plumber He was prematurely bald And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer. He also had bladder problems And a really bad infection on his toe." And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there, That's way more than I needed to know!" And then we both were quiet And things got real intense Then she says "Next window please, That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents." So we inched ahead in line Movin' painfully slow I got a little bored So I turned on the radio (Song plays) (Click) Turned it off Because my wife was getting a headache So we both just sat there quietly For her sake. Then I looked at her And she looked back at me And I said "Um, I think you have somethin' in your teeth." She turned away from me And then turned back and said "Did I get it?" I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it But hey, ya know, don't sweat it." Then she said "How about now?" I said "Yeah, almost. There's still a little bit there But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast." Now we're at the pay window Or whatever you call it Put my hand in my pocket I can't believe there's no wallet! And the lady at the window's like, "Well, well that'll be five eighty two." I turn around to my wife, and say "How much have you got on you?" She just rolls her eyes and says "I'll pay for this, I guess." So she reaches into her purse And pulls out the American Express I hand it to the lady And she says "Oh, dear. It's gotta be cash only We don't take credit cards here." I took back the card and said "Gee, really? Well that sucks." And that's when I found out My wife was only carryin' three bucks. I said "I thought you were Going to hit the ATM today" She says "I never got around to it So where's your wallet anyway? And I said "Nevermind, Just help me to find some change" Now the lady at the window Is lookin at me kinda strange And she says "Mister, please, We gotta move this line along" I said "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady, We won't be long." We looked around inside the glove box And check the mat beneath my feet I found a nickel in the ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space betweent he seats Before long I had a little pile Of coins of every sort The lady counts it up and says "You're still about a dollar short" And now my woman's got this weird look Frozen on her face She screams, "you know I wasn't even really hungry in the first place" And so I turned around To the cashier again I shrugged and said "OK Forget the chicken sandwich then" So I pick up my change Pick up my reciept And I drive to the pickup window Man, I just can't wait to eat And now we see this acne ridden Kid about sixteen Wearin' a dorky nametag that says "Hello, my name is Eugene." And he hands me a paper bag I look him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Eugene, Can I get some ketchup for my fries?" Well he looks at me And I look at him And he looks at me And I look at him And he looks at me And I look at him And he says "I'm sorry What did you want again?" I say "Ketchup!" And he says "Oh yeah, that's right I just spaced out there for a second I'm really kind of burnt tonight." And then he hands me the ketchup And now we're finally drivin' away And the food is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating bouquet I'm starvin' to death By the time we pull up at the traffic light I say "Baby, gimme that burger, I just gotta have a bite!" So she reaches in the bag And pulls out the burger And she hands me the burger And I pick up the burger And then I unwrap the paper I bite into those buns And I just can't believe it They forgot the onions... Weird Al Yankovic |
Trash Day Trash Day It's rotten So rotten here So rotten Oh It was like, the last day before trash day My place was gettin' kinda nas tay Even though the garbage I knew would reek (You know) Thought that I could leave it for one more week Then, um, I'm takin Birthday cake 'n(Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin Wife's so mad, she starts to shakinLeaky bag, 'n' now that girl is gaggin She's naggin"I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor" "Is that too much to ask for?" But I see no reason why Can't let a few more weeks go by And now garbage is piled high And buddy, you should see the flies I said There's somethin' rotten here (say what?) You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh) (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Oh, boy there's a lot in here (a lot) And every day it grows (uh, uh, uh, uh) (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Make ya wanna throw up Look at all this garbage I keep generatin(Come on) I sit around all day and watch it biodegradinBet there's a hundred health codes that I'm violatinEven my dog passed out and needed resuscitatin You won't believe it, take a whiff of that aroma Sure to put you in a coma It's so messy, can't find my toenail clippers It so bad the roaches wearin' slippers Warm, sweaty clothes piled up in this joint Stand up by themselves at this point It's so filthy, now baby, I can't lie I wipe my feet before I go outside I wonder what crawled in there and died (You know) Walkin' 'round barefoot, I'd be terrified But it gives me stuff to talk about with my friends Like, "Hey, I think them rats gettin' big!" Oh There's somethin' rotten here (say what?) You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh) (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Oh, look what we got in here (now what?) Let's watch it decompose (uh, uh, uh, uh) (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Make ya wanna throw up With a little bit a ***, and a little bit a *** Make me wanna throw up It makes ya wanna ***, just makes ya wanna *** Oh Some Lysol, some Comet I got a mop and it's got your name on it (What?) I'm just kiddin', doggone it (Oh) Unless you gonna do it Careful not to breathe the fumes Check it, garbage piles are goin' all the way to the bathroom Turn into toxic waste sometime this afternoon Better get a Hazmat suit and a push broom Oh There's somethin' rotten here (say what?) You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh) (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Oh, it's gone to pot in here (to pot) Bring out the firehose (uh, uh, uh, uh) (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Make ya wanna throw up With a little bit a ***, and a little bit a *** Make me wanna throw up Give a little bit a ***, and a tiny bit a *** Make ya wanna throw up Mix a little bit a *** with a molecule a *** Make me wanna throw up It makes me wanna *** (aw, eww), just makes me wanna *** [spit] Oh... Weird Al Yankovic |
Trigger Happy Trigger Happy Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel alright Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night There's no feeling any greter Than to shoot first and ask questions later Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson That ought to teach them all a darn good lesson Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day (Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy (Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy (Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den I mistook him in the dark for a drug crazed Nazi again Now why'd you have to get so mad? It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet I filled that kitty cat so full of lead We'll have to use him for a pencil instead Well, I'm so trigger happy, trigger happy every day (Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy (Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy (Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away Come on and grab your ammo What have you got to lose? We'll all get liquored up And shoot at anything that moves Got a brand new semi automatic weapon with a laser sight Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight I always keep a Magnum in my trunk You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk? Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day (Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy (Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy (Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away... Weird Al Yankovic |
Truck Drivin' Song Truck Drivin' Song I'm drivin' a truck Drivin' a big ol' truck Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn Drivin' a truck with my high heels on My diesel rig is northward bound It's time to put that hammer down Just watchin' as the miles go flyin' by I'm ridin' twenty tons of steel But it's sure hard to hold the wheel While I'm waiting for my nails to dry Oh, I always gotta check my lipstick in that rear view mirror And my pink angora sweater fits so tight I'm jammin' gears and haulin' freight Well, I sure hope my seams are straight Lord, don't let my mascara run tonight Because I'm drivin' a truck Drivin' a big ol' truck Smokey's on my tail and my accelerator's stuck Got these eighteen wheels a rollin' until the break of dawn Drivin' a truck with my high heels on Oh, I don't mind when my crotchless panties creep right up on me And my nipple rings don't bother me too much But when I hit those big speed bumps My darling little rhinestone pumps Keep slippin' off the mother lovin' clutch But still I'm drivin' a truck Drivin' a big ol' truck Headin' down the interstate, just tryin' to make a buck Wearin' feather boas with sequins and chiffon While I'm drivin' a truck with my high heels on I'm drivin' a truck Drivin' a truck Got a load to carry and some eyebrows left to pluck And I'm late for my appointment down at my hair salon So I'll be drivin' a truck with my high heels on... Weird Al Yankovic |
Twister Twister Yeah Well, Well, Milton Bradley's got a def one It's a Twister (Twister, Twister, Twister) Yeah, all the girls and homeboys Playin' Twister (Twister, Twister, Twister!) Spin the spinner and call the shot Twister ties you up in a knot That's Twister Yeah, Twister Check it Right foot blue (Right foot blue) Left hand red (Left hand red) Left, Right, Yellow, Blue, Green Yeah, Twister Now, everybody's chillinWith the Twister (Twister) Wherever things are illinYou'll find Twister (Twister, Twister!) That's Twister Yeah, Twister Yeah buddy You gotta get it Yeah Twister From MB... Weird Al Yankovic |
Uhf Uhf Put down your remote control Throw out your TV Guide Put away your jacket There's no need to go outside Don't you know that we control the horizontal We control the verticle, too We gonna make a couch potato out of you That's what we gonna do now Don't change the channel Don't touch that dial We got it all on UHF Kick off your sneakers Stick around for a while We got it all on UHF Don't worry 'bout your laundry Forget about your job Just crank up the volume And yank off the knob We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on UHF Disconnect the phone and leave the dishes in the sink You better put away your homework Prime time ain't no time to think All you do is make yourself a TV dinner Press your face right up against the screen We gonna show you thangs you ain't ever seen If you know what I mean, now Don't change the channel Don't touch that dial We got it all on UHF Kick off your sneakers Stick around for a while We got it all on UHF Don't worry 'bout your laundry Forget about your job Just crank up the volume And yank off the knob We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on UHF You can watch us all day You can watch us all night You can watch us any time that you please You can sit around and stare at the picture tube 'Till your brain turns into cottage cheese Well, now Don't change the channel Don't touch that dial We got it all on UHF Kick off your sneakers Stick around for a while We got it all on UHF Don't worry 'bout your laundry Forget about your job Just crank up the volume And yank off the knob We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on UHF We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (we got it all) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (we got it all) We got it all (we got it all) on UHF (we got it) (We got it) we got (we got it) it all (we got it) on UHF (we got it all) We got it all on UHF (we got it all) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all (we got it all) on UHF (on UHF) We got it all on UHF We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all (we got it all) on UHF (we go it) We got it all on UHF We got it all on UHF We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF (UHF) We got it all on UHF... Weird Al Yankovic |
Velvet Elvis Velvet Elvis My life, it used to be incomplete 'Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive in swap meet My life it won't be the same again Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den Oh, it's all I live for, it's all I need My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis means the world to me Although he may not be worth much dough He means much more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh Check out those sideburns, there's nothing greater You can tell that he's no velvet Elvis imitator Oh, it's all I live for, it's all I need My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis Oh, now you can't you see My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis My velvet Elvis means the world to me In my own private Graceland In my own little shrine to the king I don't want nothin' else No, I don't need anything Don't need no lava lamp Don't need no soap on a rope No pictures of Mexican kids with those really big eyes Or dogs playing poker When I'm at home watching my TV I know the king is always looking down on me He looks so handsome, he stands so tall So glad he's big enough to cover up that hole in the wall (Velvet Elvis) He's so fuzzy (Velvet Elvis) He's so great (Velvet Elvis) Never ages (Velvet Elvis) Never puts on weight (Velvet Elvis) Look at those rhinestones (Velvet Elvis) He's just so fine (Velvet Elvis) You can look but don't touch now (Velvet Elvis) 'Cause he's mine all mine... Weird Al Yankovic |
Virus Alert Virus Alert Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please We wanna give you a warning 'Cause I found out this morning About a dangerous, insidious computer virus If you should get it, an email with the subject, 'stinky cheeseBetter off protecting your chances Under no circumstances, should you open it Or else it will Translate your documents into Swahili Make your TV record "Gigli" Neuter your pets, and give you laundry static cling Look out! It's gonna make your computer screen freeze Look out! Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs Look out! Erase your hard drive and your backups too And the hard drive of anyone related to you Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt! Forward this message on to everybody Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls It'll make your keyboard all sticky Give your poodle a hickey And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney Then, it will tie up your phone, making prank long distance calls It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower So just trash it now, or else it will Decide to give you a permanent wedgie, Legally change your name to Reggie, Even mess up the pH balance in your pool Look out! It's gonna melt your face right off your skull Look out! And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull Look out! And tell you knock knock jokes while you're trying to sleep Look out! And make you physically attracted to sheep Look out! Steal your identity and your credit card Look out! Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards Look out! Then cause a major rift in time and space And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place That's right it's a Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt! Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt! Forward this message on to everybody Warn all your friends, send this to everybody Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down Drop it in a forty three foot hole in the ground Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were online! Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt! Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt! Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt! Forward this message on to everybody Warn all your friends, send this to everybody Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now What are you waiting for? Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know! Hit send right now... Weird Al Yankovic |
Waffle King Waffle King It took a lifetime, but I finally found The perfect waffle recipe You'll never find a batter any better in this whole stinkin' town One little bite and I'm sure that you'll agree Your eyes roll back and your knees get weak Aw, you're gonna lick your plate clean People come from miles around just to study my technique I make the best darn waffles this world has ever seen I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King) yeah Waffle King (Waffle King) That's what they call me Waffle King (Waffle King) Hey, I'm the Waffle King Everywhere I go, the people cheer I never have to wait in line People say, "Right this way, sir Your money's no good here.Some day I betcha they'll build me a shrine And everybody say, "Well, I'm your biggest fan!" "I seen your picture in People Magazine!" Folks come from around the world just to shake my hand If you don't believe in the power of the waffle lemme show you just what I mean I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King) Make you want to scream and shout Waffle King (Waffle King) That's my name, don't wear it out Waffle King (Waffle King) Make no mistake about it I'm the Waffle King yeah Roll out the red carpet, 'cause here I come All you peons better scram Out of my way, you worthless piece of scum Don't you know who I am? Hey! I wanna see you grovel, you waffle eatin' fools Everybody, on your knees You wanna buy a waffle, you're playin' by my rules Go on, beg me lemme hear you say "pretty please" Can't you tell the universe revolves around me? Don't you know you suckers owe me everything? And can't you see that I'm the highest form of life that there could ever be? Everybody all around the world, stand up and sing Come on know Waffle King Hey, batter batter Waffle King Hot on your platter Waffle King Say, what's the matter Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who I am? Tell 'em, girls (He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King) Yeah yeah (He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King) Tell the truth now (He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King) Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who I am? Weird Al Yankovic |
Wanna B Ur Lovr Wanna B Ur Lovr I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure, baby You're an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrical And your nostils are so nice I wish that I was cross eyed, girl So I could see you twice Girl, you smell like Fritos That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare You're so hot, you're gonna melt The elastic in my underwear I'll bet you're magically delicious Like a bowl of Lucky Charms You'd look like Venus de Milo If I just cut off your arms What I'm tryin' to say is I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo Do you believe in love at first sight Or should I walk by again? My love for you'd like diarrhea I just can't hold it in Stop, drop and roll now 'Cause baby, you're on fire I'll bet your outfit Makes a lot of noise in the drier You're absolutely perfect Don't speak now, you might spoil it Your eyes are even bluer Than the water in my toilet Say, has anyone ever told you You've got Yugoslavian hands? No, of course not, that would be stupid Just forget I ever brought it up The point I'm trying to make is I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo I wanna be your Krakatoa Let my lava flow all over you I wanna be your anaconda And your heat seeking missile too I wanna be your beef burrito Am I making this perfectly clear? I wanna be your love torpedo Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here? Uh huh I hope I'm not being forward But do you mind if I chew on your butt? You can tell me truthfully Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what? There just aren't enough o's in "smooth" To desribe how smooth I am Maybe you've seen my picture It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!" My lips are registered weapons Can I invade your personal space? You must have fallen from heaven That would explain how you messed up your face Well, how'd you get through security? 'Cause, baby, you're the bomb I'd like to take you home right now So you can meet my mom Because I I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Girl, you must be Jamaican Because Jamaican me crazy Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) Weird Al Yankovic |
Weasel Stomping Day Weasel Stomping Day Faces filled with joy and cheer What a magical time of year Howdy Ho! It's Weasel Stomping Day Put your Viking helmet on Spread that mayonaisse on the lawn Don't you know it's Weasel Stomping Day All the little girls and boys Love that wonderful crunching noise You'll know what this day's about When you stomp a weasel's guts right out So, come along and have a laugh Snap their weasely spines in half Grap your boots and stomp your cares away Hip hip hooray, it's Weasel Stomping Day (Sounds of weasels getting stomped on, with bone crunching and rodent screeching effects) People love them down the street Crushing weasels beneath their feet Why we do it, who can say? But it's such a festive holiday So let the stomping fun begin Bash their weasely skulls right in It's tradition, that makes it okay Hey everyone, it's Weasel Stomping We'll have some fun on Weasel Stomping Put down your gun, it's Weasel Stomping Day Hip Hip Hooray, it's Weasel Stomping Day Weasel Stomping Day Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
When I Was Your Age When I Was Your Age Let me tell you sonny let me tell you straight You kids today ain't never had it tough Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate You lazy brats think nothing's good enough Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was ninety degrees below We had to walk buck naked through forty miles of snow Worked in the coal mines twenty two hours a day for just half a cent Had to sell me internal organs just to pay the rent When I was your age. When I was your age When I was your age. When I was your age Let me tell you something, you whiny little snot There's something wrong with all you kids today You just don't appreciate all the things you've got We were hungry, broken and miserable and we liked it fine that way There were seventy three of us living in a cardboard box All I got for Christmas was a lousy bag of rocks Every night for dinner, we had a big 'ol chunk of dirt If we were really good, we didn't get dessert When I was your age. When I was your age When I was your age. When I was your age Didn't have no telephone, didn't have no FAX machine All we had was a couple cans and a crummy piece of string Didn't have no swimming pool when I was just a lad Our neighbor's mseptic tank was the closest thing we had Didn't have no dental floss, had to use old rusty nails Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails Didn't have no water bed, had to sleep on broken glass Didn't have no lawnmower, we used our teeth to cut the grass What's the matter now, sonny, you say you don't believe this junk? You think my story's wearin' kinda thin? I tell you one thing, I never was such a disrespectful punk Back in my time, we had a thing called discipline Dad would whoop us every night till a quarter after twelve Then he'd get too tired and he'd make us whoop ourselves Then he'd chop me into pieces and play frisbee with my brain And let me tell ya, Junior, you never heard me complain When I was your age. When I was your age When I was your age. When I was your age... Weird Al Yankovic |
White And Nerdy White And Nerdy They see me mowin My front lawn I know they're all thinking I'm so White N' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy! I wanna roll with The gangsters But so far they all think I'm too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Really, really white n' nerdy First in my class here at M.I.T. Got skills, I'm a Champion of DND MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40 I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find they're quite stationary All of my action figures are cherry Steven Hawkings in my library My MySpace page is all totally pimped out I got people begging for my top 8 spaces Yo I know Pi to a thousand places Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed, my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze There's no killer app I haven't run At Pascal, well, I'm number 1 Do vector calculus just for fun I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun Happy days is my favourite theme song I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon They see me roll on, my Segway! I know in my heart they think I'm white n' nerdy! Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy I'd like to roll with The gangsters Although it's apparent I'm too White n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy How'd I get so white n' nerdy? I've been browsing, inspectin X-men comics you know I collect 'em The pens in my pocket I must protect 'em my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored Shopping online for deals on some writable media I edit Wiki pe dia I memorized Holy Grail really well I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL I got a business doing websites When my friends need some code who do they call? I do HTML for them all Even made a homepage for my dog! Yo! Got myself a fanny pack they were having a sale down at the GAP Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky! I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team! Only question I ever thought was hard Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard? I spend every weekend at the renaissance fair I got my name on my under wear! They see me strollinThey laughin And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy All because I'm white n' nerdy Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy I wanna bowl with the gangsters but oh well it's obvious I'm white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy... Weird Al Yankovic |
Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Why Does This Always Happen To Me? I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About dsome devistating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2 And I said, "God, please answer me one question?" "Why'd they have to interrupt 'The Simpsons' just for this?" What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) Why does this always happen to me? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl There was a twelve car pile up, everybody dead And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head And I thought Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money what a jerk Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) Why does this always happen to me? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner And he told me I should buy another case Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face) Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again (quite as sharp again) Oh, tell me Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?) Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?) Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Weird Al Yankovic |
You Don't Love Me Anymore You Don't Love Me Anymore We've been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong? Seems you don't want me around The passion is gone and the flame's died down I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I was nice Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car? That kind of thing is hard to ignore Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore I knew that we were having problems when You put those piranhas in my bathtub again You're still the light of my life Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife? You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way You poison my coffee just a little each day I still remember the way that you laughed When you pushed me down that elevator shaft Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra Doing in my underwear drawer? Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will You set my house on fire You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers Oh, you think that I'm ugly and you say that I'm cheap You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep You drilled a hole in my head Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all You never acted this way before Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore (approximately 10 minutes and 2 seconds of silence) (some loud and spontaneous noises) Weird Al Yankovic |
You Make Me You Make Me You make me wanna slam my head against the wall You make me do the limbo You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall You make me watch the Gong Show There's really something kinda strange about you, baby, but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me You make me wanna hide a weasel in my shorts You make me wanna phone home You make me wanna write a dozen book reports Then pack myself in styrofoam Sometimes you make me want to build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what, what you do to me You make me wanna hang out in a trailer park Then take my hamster to the beach You make me wanna do my laundry in the dark And use a recommended bleach When I'm with you I don't know whether I should study neurosurgery or go to see the Care Bears movie You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what, what you do to me That's what you do to me That's what you do to me That's what you do to me You make me wanna break the laws of time and space You make me wanna eat pork You make me wanna staple bagels to my face Then remove 'em with a pitchfork You know there's something quite unusual about you but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it You make me You make me You make me That's what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what, what you do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do do do do do to me (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do (You make me) That's what you do to me... Weird Al Yankovic |
Young, Dumb (Ugly) Young, Dumb (Ugly) We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes Most of our brain cells are gone We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad Or we just might toilet paper your lawn We got a reputation 'round these parts We only leave a ten percent tip Sometimes we don't return our shoping carts Stay out of our way and don't you give us no lip 'Cause we're young dumb and ugly That's what we are We're so young young, dumb and ugly We wear black leather in the hottest weather You can't imagine the smell We got three-day stubble, our names spell trouble T-R-U-B-E-L Reaisin' hell, bendin' the rules just a little We're livin' only for thrills We squeeze our tooothpaste tubes from the middle And wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills 'Cause we're young dumb and ugly You better believe it We're young young, dumb and ugly I'll tell you again We're so young young, dumb and ugly We're comin' to your town Yeah, we're young young, dumb and ugly We're wild, reckless men, we're on a rampage again We drive with just one hand on the wheel Danger's in our soul, we're goin' out of control Swimmin' right after a big heavy meal We're there wherever trouble's starting We're rebels without a clue We drink milk right from the carton And keep our library books 'till they're way overdue 'Cause we're young dumb and ugly That's what we are We're so young young, dumb and ugly You can't stop us We're young we're so young, dumb and ugly Young, dumb & ugly We're young we're young, dumb and ugly So ugly Young dumb & ugly... Weird Al Yankovic |
Your Horoscope For Today Your Horoscope For Today Aquarius There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack A Mole seventeen hours a day Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say Aries The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep Taurus You will never find true happiness what you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) That's your horoscope for today Gemini Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest Cancer The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test Leo Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no Eat a bucket of tuna flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik Virgo All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent except for you Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) That's your horoscope for today Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of the is absolutely true. Where was I? Libra A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week Scorpio Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window Work a little harder on improving your low self esteem, you stupid freak Sagittarius All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them) Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den Capricorn The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying If I were you, I's lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) That's your horoscope for today... Weird Al Yankovic |
| Bütün Zaman Ayarları WEZ +3 olarak düzenlenmiştir. Şu Anki Saat: 12:21 . |
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