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Weird Al Yankovic Şarkı Sözleri ( Lyrics ) A Complicated Song Uh huh extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check it out Nineteen extra larges What a shame No one came Just us eatin' all alone You said, "Take the pizza home" "No sense lettin' all this go to waste" So then I faced Pizza all day And every day This cheese 'round the clock Is gettin' me blocked And I sure don't care For irregularity Tell me Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated? 'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom I sit and I wait and I strain And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated? No no no I was feelin' pretty down 'Till my girlfriend came around We're just so alike in every way I gotta say In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her so tenderly But woe is me Who would have guessed Her family crest I'd suddely spy Tattooed on her thigh And son of a gun It's just like the one on me Tell me How was I supposed to know we were both related? Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated? No no no no no no no No no no no no no no No no no no no I had so much on my mind I thought maybe I'd unwind Try out that new roller coaster ride And the guide Said not to stand But that's a demand That I couldn't meet I got on my feet And stood up instead And knocked off my head, you see Tell me Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated? This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it Such a drag, now Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore I can't belch or yodel anymore Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated Oh no Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah) I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated What a bummer Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated No no no... Weird Al Yankovic |
Achy Breaky Song Achy Breaky Song You can torture me With Donnie and Marie You can play some Barry Manilow Or you can play some schlock Like New Kids On The Block Or any Village People song you know Or play Vanilla Ice Hey, you can play him twice And you can play the Bee Gees any day But Mr. DJ, please I'm beggin' on my knees I just can't take no more of Billy Ray Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That "Achy Breaky" song I might blow up my radio, ooo You can clear the room By playind Debbie Boon Or crank your Abba records until dawn Oh, I can even hear Slim Whitman or Zamfir Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon Or play some Tiffany On 8-track or CD Or scrape your fingernails across the board Or tie me to a chair And kick me down the stairs Just please don't play that stupid song no more Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song You know I hate that song a bunch And if you play that song That nauseating song It might just make me lose my lunch, ooo Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song I think it's driving me insane Oh, please don't play that song That irritating song I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That "Achy Breaky" song I might blow up my radio, ooo woo... Weird Al Yankovic |
Airline Amy Airline Amy Met this pretty young stewardess on a non stop flight She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go 'Cause I'll do anything just to spend a little time With the sutest flight attendant I know You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flyer, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy Every one of our dates is at thirty thousand feet She always points out the exits to me, she's so sweet You know she gets me my headphones for free Refills my coffee cup whenevr I ask And you gotta admit my baby looks pretty hot When she's wearin' that oxygen mask Well well, you set my ever lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flyer, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy Amy, darlin', don't you know you really drive me nuts Every time you're handing out those honey roasted peanuts Airline Amy, this is my new mission Gotta get you in an upright locked position Oh yeah, you set my ever lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flyer, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy Yeah yeah, you set my ever lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy You're the only woman I desire, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one else can take me higher No one else can take me higher And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy... Weird Al Yankovic |
Albuquerque Albuquerque Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Aww Big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doodoo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in flight movie was Bio Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ahhh So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow in the dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A and C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "Who is it?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock Of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls" I said "You got any apple fritters?" He said "No, we're outta apple fritters" I said "You got any bear claws?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check" "No, we're outta bear claws" I said "Well, in that case in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels" I said "OK, I'll take that" So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over (rabid gnawing sounds) Oh man, they were just going nuts They were tearin' me apart You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head" I believe it went a little something like this Doh Get 'em off me Get 'em off me Oh No, get 'em off, get 'em off Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me Oh, oh God Ah, (more screaming) I ran out into the street with these flesh eating weasels all over my face Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runninLike a constipated weiner dog And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams Her name was Zelda She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches I'll never forget the first thing she said to me. She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face" That's when I knew it was true love We were inseparable after that Aw, we ate together, we bathed together We even shared the same piece of mint flavored dental floss The world was our burrito So we got married and we bought us a house And had two beautiful children Nathaniel and Superfly Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Woah, hold on now, baby" "I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment" So we broke up and I never saw her again But that's just the way things go In Albuquerque Albuquerque Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part time job at The Sizzler I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that I was gettin' a lot of attitude OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw" So I did And then he gets all indignant on me He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname Torso Boy So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bit in three days Well, I knew what he meant But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming (screaming sounds) You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought Uh, well, uh, OK Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is I hate sauerkraut That's all I'm really tryin' to say And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up And find yourself in an existential quandry Full of loathing and self doubt And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed up universe of ours There's still a little place called Albuquerque Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U) "querque" (querque) Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque... Weird Al Yankovic |
Alimony Alimony Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) (Yeah) 'Cause she took my house (alimony), my car (alimony) My shoes (alimony) and my toothbrush too (alimony) Too bad (alimony), so sad (alimony) Ah-she got (alimony), got the gift of grab (alimony) I'm in debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt), debt (debt) Lawyer's callin' me on the telephony Tryin' to squeeze some blood from a stonee-stony Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah Then she took me for everything, yeah everything She could get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get) (Get) Well I'm out of cash (alimony), no dough (alimony) I'm broke (alimony), it's no joke (alimony) The check's in the mail (alimony), get off (alimony) My back (alimony), cut me some slack (alimony) I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) (Ooh, I want my alimo mo mony) Oh you do (Ooh, I want my alimo mo mony) Is it due (Ooh, I want my alimo mo mony) Or you'll sue (Ooh, I want my alimo mo mony) Alimony (yeah), mony (yeah) Yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) Wow (Cash register "ching") (Alimony, alimony, alimony) I said (alimony) Come on, come on, come on Alimony, alimony, alimony Bleed me dry (alimony) I said no (no), oh no (no) No (no), no (no), no (no), no (no), no (no) Weird Al Yankovic |
Amish Paradise Amish Paradise As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows fool And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699 We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise I've churned butter once or twice Living in an Amish paradise It's hard work and sacrifice Living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price Living in an Amish paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree, I really look good in black fool If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare We're just technologically impaired There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar Not a single luxury Like Robinson Caruso It's as primitive as can be We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're just plain and simple guys Living in an Amish paradise There's no time for sin and vice Living in an Amish paradise We don't fight, we all play nice Living in an Amish paradise Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anoder Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart? Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife So don't be vain and don't be whiny Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie We been spending most our lives Living in an Amish paradise We're all crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish paradise There's no cops or traffic lights Living in an Amish paradise But you'd probably think it bites Living in an Amish paradise... Weird Al Yankovic |
Angry White Boy Polka Angry White Boy Polka Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don't give a if I cut my arm bleeding This is my last resort 'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Nothing's all right, nothing is fine I'm running and a crying Wake up (Wake up) Grab a brush and put a little make up Hide the scars to fade away the shake up (Hide the scars to fade away the shake up) Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable You wanted to Grab a brush and put a little makeup You wanted to Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup You wanted to Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? You wanted to I don't think you trust In my self-righteous suicide I cry when angels deserve to die, die, die Die die die die die Hey I'm gonna get free I'm gonna get free I'm gonna get free Ride into the sun She never loved me She never loved me She never loved me Why should anyone? (Come here, come here, come here) I'll take your photo for ya (Come here, come here, come here) Drive you around the corner (Come here, come here, come here) You know you really oughta (Come here, come here, come here) Move out to California Do what I want 'cause I can If I don't because I wanna Be ignored by the stiff and the bored Because I'm gonna Hate to say I told you so, all right Do believe I told you so Now it's all out and you knew 'Cause I wanted to Fell in love with a girl I fell in love at once and almost completely She's in love with the world But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading Can't think of anything to do Yeah, my left brain knows that all love is fleeting She's just looking for something new Yeah, I said it once before but it bears repeating, now Last night, she said "Oh baby, don't you feel so down When you turn me off When I feel left out" So I (what'd you do?) Well, I turned around (right around) "Oh, baby, gonna be alright" It was a great big lie (big old lie) 'Cause I left that night Yeah Ooh ah ah ah ah Ooh ah ah ah ah Get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Open up your hate and let it flow into me Get up Come on get down with the sickness You mother get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Madness is the gift that has been given to me We're the renegades of funk We're the renegades of funk We're the renegades of funk We're the renegades of funk This time I'm 'a let it all come out This time I'm 'a stand up and shout I'm a do things my way It's my way My way or the highway This time I'm a let it all come out This time I'm a stand up and shout I'm a do things my way It's my way (honk) (honk) Or the highway But I'm on the outside I'm looking in I can see through you See your true colors 'Cause inside you're ugly Ugly like me I can see through you See to the real you Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie We are, we are The youth of the nation We are, we are The youth of the nation We are, we are The youth of the nation We are the youth of the nation Hey I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up Please stand up I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please Please, please stand up Slim Shady won't you please stand up? (Stand up Shady)(Stand up) (Stand up Shady)(Stand up) (Stand up Shady) Shady, won't you please stand up? Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet They showed up on my doorstep just a couple weeks ago They looked so sweet and harmless Tell me, how was I to know They got a little too close to the microwave and then much to my surprise They grew to forty thousand times their original size They started mutatin' right before my eyes Oh my Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars A race from a distant place They came in UFOs shaped just like cuban cigars Man oh man, you oughta hear 'em squeal Now the whole wide world is their exercise wheel Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars The president, he's is a panic The pentagon, they're in shock There's a team of research scientists They got 'em workin' 'round the clock Now the National Guard is out in my back yard And the Marines'll be comin' around I hope they get this lousy rodents out of my town 'Cause the property values are goin' way down now Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars They're back and they're lookin' for a snack And they're not that fond of Burger Kings or salad bars I hope they're not plannin' to stay Who invited them here anayway Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars Well, well, look at that hamster, he's as big as a blimp And there's one the size of central park They're using telephone pole to pick their teeth They're evil and nasty and they glow in the dark Oh, don't waste any more of your bullets, boys You know it just makes 'em mad when you shoot They're gonna stomp us into jelly and conquer the world But you gotta admit, they're really kinda cute, now Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars What a racquet they're makin', Jack They keep me up at night playin' they're electric guitars Listen to 'em squeal They think the whole stinkin' world is their exercise wheel Attack of the radioactive hamsters from a planet near Mars Hey Jack, you better watch your back Here come those hamsters from a planet near mars Well, well, it's called the Attack of the radioactive hamsters From a planet near Mars A planet near Mars... Weird Al Yankovic |
Bohemian Polka Bohemian Polka Is this the real life Is this just fantasy Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy 'Cause I'm easy come, easy go Little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me To me Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooo I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all I see a little silhouetto of a mam Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the Fandango Thunderbolt and lightning very, very frightening me Galileo, Galileo Galileo, Galileo Galileo figaro Magnifico Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Bismillah! No, we will not let you go let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go let him go Will not let you go let him go Will not let you go let him go No, no, no, no, no no no no no! Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me For me So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh, baby Can't do this to me, baby Just gotta get out just gotta get right outta here Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me Anyway the wind blows Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
Cable TV Cable TV I used to think my life was so empty I used to think life was passin' me by Well, I was just about ready To curl up and die But then one day I got a visit From the cable company Well, they hooked me up and plugged me right in And now I got cable TV And now I get to watch the stock report in Korean Midget wrestling on channel three It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em Yeah, but that's all right with me I got cable TV (Cable TV) Cable TV (Cable TV) Oh, eighty three channels of ecstasy I love my cable TV, yeah I love my cable TV I got the Siamese Faith Healer's Network The news and weather from Peru I got celebrity hockey The Racketball Channel too Bugs Bunny direct from Atlanta Mr. Wizard is on at five I got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car So I can watch MTV while I drive I'm talkin' 'bout real quality programs The kind you just can't get for free Now I never wanna leave my apartment 'Cause there's just so much for me to see On my cable TV (Cable TV) Cable TV(Cable TV) Well, if you need to find me You know where I'll be Watchin' my cable TV, yeah Watchin' my cable TV 'Cause I love my cable TV, yeah I love my cable TV My friends are gettin' kinda worried They think I'm turning into some kinda freak Oh, but they're just jealous 'cause I've seen Porky's Twenty-seven times this week On my cable TV (Cable TV) Cable TV (Cable TV) Yeah, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me I love my cable TV, yeah I love my cable TV Well, I got to have cable TV, yeah I need my cable TV Well, I love, I love my cable TV (TV) Got to have cable TV (TV) Well, I got to have my cable TV, yeah (TV) Can't live without my cable TV Well, I said, got to have some cable TV (TV) I've got to have my cable TV I said cable TV, yeah (TV) Got to have cable TV... Weird Al Yankovic |
Callin' In Sick Callin' In Sick Hit my snooze alarm for the twenty seventh time Just don't feel like goin' to work I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I got some strange disease What's that little twerp gonna say Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp I could spend all day in my underwear wathing "Ernest Goes To Camp" I could sit and count my hair I could burp my Tupperware I'm not busy anyway Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't goin' to work, no way Callin' in sick today I can do anything I want to I am invincible now I'm on fire, baby I'm alive, I'm alive, can you hear me, world? I'm alive Maybe I'll spend all day staring at the sun And trying not to squint Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from My belly button lint When I'm sick of takin' abuse I just make up some lame excuse Freedom's just seven digits away Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't gonna work, no way Callin' in sick today... Weird Al Yankovic |
Canadian Idiot Canadian Idiot Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut And do I look like some frostbitten hose head? I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed They all live on donuts and moose meat And they leave the house without packin' heat Never even bring their guns to the mall And you know what else is too funny? Their stupid Monopoly money Can't take 'em seriously at all Well maple syrup and snow's what they export They treat curling just like it's a real sport They think their silly accent is so cute Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot Sure they got their national health care Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air Then again well they got Celine Dion Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni And dream of drivin' a Zamboni All over Saskatchewan Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius See the map, they're hoverin' right over us Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous Always hear the same kind of story Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry" Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite? It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin' So quick, before they see it comin' Time for a pre emptive strike... Weird Al Yankovic |
Cavity Search Cavity Search Listen to the Muzak Hearin' people scream Sittin' in the waiting room Readin' crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root Canal My molars are impacted I'm gettin' gum disease I'm gonna need some fillings Got twelve cavities Can you help me Have mercy Doctor, please My teeth are a fright Got a huge overbite Numb me, drill me Floss me, bill me You jab at my nerve endings It's driving me insane Just give me nitrous oxide Shoot me up with novocaine Help me out here 'Cause I'm so severe Pain Please stop for a bit Let me rinse and spit Numb me, drill me Floss me, bill me You validate my parking I think that I'm okay But you make one more appointment for A week from Saturday 'Cause you came upon A problem on My x-ray Oy vey I'm getting absurd Well, I hope I'm insured, now Numb me, drill me Floss me, bill me... Weird Al Yankovic |
Close But No Cigar Close But No Cigar Jillian was her name She was sweeter than aspartame Her kisses reconfigured my DNA And after that I never was the same And I loved her even more Than Marlon Brando loved souffle She was gorgeous, she was charming Yeah, she was perfect in every way Except she was always using the word "infer" When she obviously meant "imply" And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing But frankly, I can't imagine why And I told her, I said "Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey? No, I don't think we are! You're close! (Close) But no cigar" Then I met sweet young Janet Prettiest thing on the planet Had a body hotter than a habanjero She had lips like a ripe pomegranate And I was crazy like Manson about her She got me all choked up like Momma Cass She had a smile so incredibly radiant You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass I thought after all these years of searching around I'd found my soulmate finally But one day I found Out she actually owned a copy Of Joe Dirt on DVD Oh, no! I said "Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo? No I don't think we are You're close! (Close) Oh, so very close! (Close) Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close) So close But no cigar" (Oh, yeah) (Oh, no) (Oh, yeah) (Oh, no) (Oh, yeah) (Oh, no) (All Rıght) (Hand claps, trumpet solo) Julie played water polo She wore a ribbon on her left manolo She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo And she was everything I've dreamed of She moved right up to 1 on my list And did I mention she's a world famous billionare Bikini supermodel astrophysicist Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron Look like a big fat slobbering pig The only caveat is one of her earlobes Was just a little tiny bit too big I said "Hey! Are we doing government work here? No I don't think we are You're close (Close) So very, very close! (Close) Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close) So close But no cigar" Missed it by that much! (No cigar) Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar) Really, really, really close! (No cigar) But no cigar... Weird Al Yankovic |
Confessions Part III Confessions Part III Watch this These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kid That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do, Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore) That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for I borrowed your chapstick (from you) I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too) And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium, I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink There have been times when I've peed in your sink Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick) My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise. I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days! And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget! These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor FYI it was not a cold sore Ooops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week, I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies, What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry. These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions... Weird Al Yankovic |
Couch Potato Couch Potato Look If you had One shot To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it? Or just let it slip? Yo Remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV already Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfinAnd I'm HD-ready So I flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon Cowell Who folks wanna disembowel He opens his mouth Always says something foul They're dyin', wow Wannabes are crying now He votes them out Time to throw in the towel Shows based on reality Oh, the humanity! Oh, Ozzy's family Sho' loves profanity Whoa, the insanity Oh, dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity? No, they live happily Yo Plus "Da Ali G Show" And "Celebrity Mole" Oh, and there's Anna Nicole Well, she's scaring me "Look ma, no cavities" Oh, it's a station break Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something "You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no) I'm gonna watch C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo) (You're gonna) My butt is aching As I watch Nascar racing That show about undertaking Larry King To "24" to "Law And Order" The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story" The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey Shows for next fall, they've already been namin"CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'nSo does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond" And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter" Then I bet I watch "The Bachelorette" Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter" And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Disney Channel and A and E and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, cajoled me But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow) I'm looking at C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo) (You're Gonna) Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space" I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace" But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour After that, felt like I needed a long shower Network execs with naked ambitions "Next week on Fox, watch lions eat Christians" Like to tie up those programming planners Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners" Leech covered grub eatin' fools on "Survivor" Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver" And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a Special all Pig Latin episode of "Drew Carey" Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week A 30 second spot Then we come back to "Are You Hot?" I was planning on recording "The Sopranos" I forgot I love shows with or without a plot I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot Because I only have got One brain to rot I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show (show) My cable gets C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo) "You're gonna lose your mind watching TV" They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no) I got it on C-Span, TV-Land, and HBO The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo) (You're gonna) You can watch anything you want to, man... Weird Al Yankovic |
Dare To Be Stupid Dare To Be Stupid Put down your chainsaw and listen to me It's time for us to join in the fight It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys It's time to let the bedbugs bite You better put all your eggs in one basket You better count your chickens before they hatch You better sell some wine before it's & its time You better find yourself an itch to scratch You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wimpole's not around Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan Talk with your mouth full Bite the hand that feeds you Bite on more than you chew What can you do Dare to be stupid Take some wooden nickles Look for Mr. Goodbar Get your mojo working now I'll show you how You can dare to be stupid You can turn the other cheek You can just give up the ship You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip Dare to be stupid Come on and dare to be stupid It's so easy to do Dare to be stupid We're all waiting for you Let's go It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill So can I have a volunteer There's no more time for crying over spilled milk Now it's time for crying in your beer Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevyrolet And party 'till you're broke and they drive you away It's OK, you can dare to be stupid It's like spitting on a fish It's like barking up a tree It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free Dare to be stupid (yes) Why don't you dare to be stupid It's so easy to do Dare to be stupid We're all waiting for you Dare to be stupid Burn your candle at both ends Look a gift horse in the mouth Mashed potatoes can be your friends You can be a coffee achiever You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver The future's up to you So what you gonna do Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid What did I say Dare to be stupid Tell me, what did I say Dare to be stupid It's alright Dare to be stupid We can be stupid all night Dare to be stupid Come on, join the crowd Dare to be stupid Shout it out loud Dare to be stupid I can't hear you Dare to be stupid OK, I can hear you now Dare to be stupid Let's go, Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid Dare to be stupid... Weird Al Yankovic |
Do I Creep You Out Do I Creep You Out I know that you Don't know me very well We've barely met But I can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually I stare My precious one I saved that gum That you threw in the garbage You're the one I dream about But the only question with me now Is "Do I creep you out?" Everytime I shake your hand now Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth Do I creep you out? Call you every night and hang up Gonna carve your name in my leg In my leg, oh oh! Somethin' I should ask about Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse? And do I creep you, Do I creep you out? (Your restraining order's out) (Still the only question with me now) Oh the only question (Is "Do I creep you out?") Is "Do I creep you out?" Know exactly where you live now Follow you from work right to your house Well, do I creep you out? Do I creep you out? Weird Al Yankovic |
Don't Download This Song Don't Download This Song Once in a while Maybe you will feel the urge. To break into national copyright law By downloading mp3s From file sharing sites Like Morpheus, or Grokster, or LimeWire, or Kazaa. But deep in your Heart. You know the guilt would drive you mad And the shame would leave a permanent scar Cause you start out stealing songs Then you're robbing liquor stores And selling Crack And running over school kids with your car So Don't Download This Song The record store is where you belong Go and buy the CD like you know that you should Oh Don't Download This Song Oh you don't want to mess With the R I Double A They'll sue you if you burn that CD R. It doesn't matter if you're a grandma Or a seven year old girl They'll treat you like the evil Hard bitten criminal scum you are So Don't Download This Song (don't go) Pirating music all day long Go and buy the CD like you know that you should Oh Don't Download This Song Don't take away money From artists just like me How else can I afford another solid gold Hum V And diamond studded swimming pools These things don't grow on trees So all I ask is everybody Pleasee Don't Download This Song (Don't do it No No) Even Lars Urlich Know it's wrong (You could just ask him) Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (You Really Should) Oh Don't Download This Song Don't Download This Song (Oh please don't you do it or you) Might Wind up in Jail like Tommy Chong (Remember Tommy) Go and buy the CD (Right Now) like you know that you should (Go out and Buy it) Oh Don't Download This Song. Don't Download This Song (No no no no) Or you'll burn in hell before to long (And you deserve it) Go and buy the CD (Just buy it) like you know that you should (You cheap bastard) Weird Al Yankovic |
Ebay Ebay Yeah A used pink bathrobe A rare mint snowglobe A Smurf TV tray I bought on eBay My house is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock) Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee) They had it on eBay I'll buy your knick knack Just check my feedback "A++" they all say They love me on eBay Gonna buy (a slightly damaged golf bag) Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag) (From some guy) I've never met in Norway Found him on eBay I am the type who is liable to snipe you With two seconds left to go, whoa Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya As long as I've got the dough I'll buy your tchotchkes Sell me your watch, please I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy) I'm highest bidder now (Junk keeps arriving in the mail) (From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) (Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) Oh yeah (I bought it on eBay) Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox) Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks) Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre) (Found it on eBay) Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster) (Pez dispensers and a toaster) (Don't know why the kind of stuff you'd throw away) (I'll buy on eBay) What I bought on eBay... Weird Al Yankovic |
Everything You Know Is Wrong Everything You Know Is Wrong I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane With a rabid wolverine in my underwear When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?" "Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?" "Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?" I probably would have kept on guessing But about that time we crashed into the truck And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you thought was just so Important doesn't matter Everything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along All you need to understand is Everything you know is wrong I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr They sucked out my internal organs And they took some polaroids And said I was a darn good sport And as a way of saying thank you They offered to transport me back to Any point in history that I would care to go And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night So I could pay my phone bill on time Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you thought was just so Important doesn't matter Everything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along All you need to understand is Everything you know is wrong I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin When I got a nasty papercut And, well, to make a long story short It got infected and I died So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter By the pearly gates And it's obvious he doesn't like The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing He tells me that they've got a dress code Well, he lets me into heaven anyway But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine For all eternity And every day he runs by screaming Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you used to think was so important Doesn't really matter anymore Because the simple fact remains that Everything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along All you need to understand is Everything you know is wrong Everything you know is wrong... Weird Al Yankovic |
Fat Fat Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right My zippers bust, my buckles break I'm too much man for you to take The pavement cracks when I fall down I've got more chins than Chinatown Well, I've never used a phone booth And I've never seen my toes When I'm goin' to the movies I take up seven rows Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) Don't you call me pudgy, portly or stout Just now tell me once again who's fat When I walk out to get my mail It measures on the Richter scale Down at the beach I'm a lucky man I'm the only one who gets a tan If I have one more pie a la mode I'm gonna need my own zip code When you're only having seconds I'm having twenty-thirds When I go to get my shoes shined I gotta take their word Because I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) And my shadow weighs forty two pounds Lemme tell you once again who's fat If you see me comin' your way Better give me plenty space If I tell you that I'm hungry Then won't you feed my face Because I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) Woo woo woo, when I sit around the house I really sit around the house You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know, you know, you know, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) And you know all by myself I'm a crowd Lemme tell you once again You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, you know, hoo (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud Just tell me once again who's fat... Weird Al Yankovic |
Frank's 2000 Frank's 2000 Risin' above the city, blocking out the noonday sun It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in stock And the neighbors are just green They say, "That's the biggest screen we've ever seen!" It's Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everbody come and see(Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) That's Frank's remote control, you can look, but don't touch it, please 'Cause Frank's the one in charge and he decides what everybody sees The picture's crystal clear and everything is magnified Robert DeNiro's mole has got to be ten feet wide Everybody in the town Can hear those 90,000 watts of Dolby sound And I'm mighty proud to say Now I can watch "The Simpsons" from thirty blocks away On Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) I'm gonna get one of my own real soon It's like having a drive in movie in your own living room Whoa, hey now hey now na na na now Hey now hey now na na now Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Got a two year warranty on parts and labor Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV... Weird Al Yankovic |
Gandhi II Gandhi II (Announcer) Next week on U62 (Announcer) He's back (Announcer) And this time (Announcer) He's mad (Announcer) Gandhi II (Announcer) No more mister passive resistance (Announcer) He's out to kick some butt (Announcer) This is one bad mother you don't wanna mess with (Gandhi) Don't move, slimeball (Announcer) He's a one man recking crew (Announcer) But he also knows how to party (Gandhi) Gimme a steak, medium rare (Gangster) Hey, Baldy (Announcer) There is only one law (Announcer) His law (Announcer) Gandhi II... Weird Al Yankovic |
Generic Blues Generic Blues I woke up this morning Then I went back to bed Said I woke up this morning Then I went right back to bed Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head You know what I'm sayin Well I ain't got not money I'm just walkin' down the road Said I ain't got no money, honey So I'm just walking down this lonely old road Well, I wish I could get me some money But I forgot my automated teller code I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tiles My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child I got the blues so bad, woo Kinda wish I was dead Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama Or maybe I'll, yeah maybe I'll just go bowlin' instead I'm just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime Nothing but a low down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed, turkey necked, weasle faced, worthless hunk of slime Guess I pretty low self image Maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something I I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I've got the time Make it talk Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk OK, now make it shut up Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down I always feel so miserable whenever I'm around I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain I'd flush myself right down the toilet, but I'd just clog up the drain I got the blues so bad Kinda wish I was dead Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama Or maybe I'll go bowling Or I just might go bowling Maybe I'll just rent some shoes and go bowling Maybe I'll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking shirt and go bowling instead Yeah... Weird Al Yankovic |
Genius In France Genius In France I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese I got a negative number on my SATs I'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in France People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek They dig my mystique, they say I'm c'est magnifique When I'm in Par ee, I'm the chic est of the chic They love my body odor and my bad toupee They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret And when I'm sipping on a Perrier In some cafe town in St. Tropez It's hard to keep the fans at bay They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait" "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait" Hemenene humenene himenene homenene Poodle poodle Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool Got too much chlorine in my gene pool A few peas short of a casserole A few buttons missing on my remote control A few fries short of a happy meal I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response (He's a genius in France Genius in France!) That's right (He's a genius in France, genius in France) You know it (He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France) I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?" I say, "Oui, oui" That's right, I say, "Oui, oui" "Oui, oui" He says, "Oui, oui" I'm dumber than a box of hair But those Frenchies don't seem to care Don't know why, mon frere But they love me there I'm a genius in France Yeah, I'm a genius in France Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes Gonna make those Frenchies scream "You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!" Like a fine Renoir (waa), I've got that je me c'est quoi (quoi!) Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I've got that je me c'est Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we oo Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we oo Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow (snort) I'm a taco short of a combo plate But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great Oh, the men all faint and the women scream They like me more than heavy cream When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie (apple pie) They think I'm awful witty, a riot and a half When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh(haw haw haw haw haw) And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw) People in France have lots of attitude They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food But when they see me, they just come unglued They think that I am one happening dude Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle Entre nous, it's very true The room temperature's higher than my IQ But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu How did this happen; I don't have a clue Well, I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm I don't have any skills or grace or charm And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back I'm never never never never goin' back home again I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick it 'Cause I'm never goin' back I'm never goin' back I'm never goin' back The girls back home never gave me a chance But I sho' 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance But "Great Googily Moogily", I'm a genius in France Every Frenchie that I meet Just can't wait to kiss my feet Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite! Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left I'm the biggest dork there is alive My mom picked out my clothes for me 'till I was 35 And I forgot to mention I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention But the Frenchies think That my poop don't stink I'm a genius in France Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon? Merci beaucoup... Weird Al Yankovic |
George Of The Jungle George Of The Jungle George, George, George of the jungle Strong as he can be Ahh Watch out for that tree George, George, George of the jungle Lives a life that's free Ahhh Watch out for that tree When he gets in scrapes When he makes his escapes With the help of his friend An ape named Ape Then away he'll schlep On his elephant Shep While Fella and Ursula Stay in step with George, George, George of the jungle Friend to you and me Ahhh Watch out for that tree Watch out for that (Ahh) (Ooh) tree George, George, George of the Jungle Friend to you and me... Weird Al Yankovic |
Germs Germs Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding (Germs) But they just come right back (Germs) I can't even see 'em, but I know they're up to something Hey, don't touch that you don't know where it's been They're all over me They're inside of me Can't get 'em offa me I'm covered with microscopic bacteria What do they want from me What'll they do to me There's no escape for me I'm crawling with microscopic bacteria Now if I ever dare to go to sleep That's when they start their sneak attack In the morning I wake up in utter horror To find my teeth are covered with bacterial plaque (Germs) Can't get those parasitic creatures off my face (Germs) And there's more comin' every day (Germs) I never said that they could camp out on my body I wish they'd pack their tiny little bags and move away They're all over me They're inside of me Can't get 'em offa me I'm covered with microscopic bacteria What do they want from me What'll they do to me There's no escape for me I'm crawling with microscopic bacteria They're creepin' around my shorts They're under the bathroom sink They're ridin' inside my car They're swimmin' in my drink They're hidin' between my toes They're lurkin' in every kiss I got 'em way up my nose In every orafice I'm gonna show them who's boss I'm gonna get even yet Just gimme some Lysol spray Just hand me a moist towelette Don't tell me I'm paranoid I know that they're after me Look under the microscope See? They're all over me They're inside of me Can't get 'em offa me I'm covered with microscopic bacteria What do they want from me What'll they do to me There's no escape for me I'm crawling with microscopic bacteria They're all over me I can feel 'em all over me Over every part of me Microscopic bacteria I know they're watching me They're always watching me They're coming after me Microscopic bacteria Won't somebody help me Please somebody help me You've got to believe me They're out to get me They wanna control me They wanna destroy me They're tryin' to kill me It kind of upsets me... Weird Al Yankovic |
Girls Just Want To Have Lunch Girls Just Want To Have Lunch Some girls like to buy new shoes And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos There's only one thing that they all like a bunch Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have lunch I know how to keep a woman satisfied When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide They're always in the mood for something to munch Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have That's all they really want Some lunch Don't ask 'em to dinner or breakfast or brunch 'Cause girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have lunch Girls, they want Want to have lunch Girls wanna have She eats like she got a hole in her neck And I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have That's all they really want Is some lunch Don't know for certain but I've got a hunch Those girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have lunch Girls, they want Want to have lunch Girls wanna have They just want to They just want to Girls They just want to They just want to Girls just want to have lunch Girls Girls just want to have lunch They just want to They just want to They just want to They just want to... Weird Al Yankovic |
Good Old Days Good Old Days Oh some times I think back to when I was younger Life was so much simpler then Dad would be up at dawn He'd be watering the lawn Or maybe going fishing again Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie And I'd spend all day long in the basement Torturing rats with a hack saw And pulling the wings off of flies Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days I can still remember good old Mr. Fender Who ran the corner grocery store Oh, he'd stroll down the aisle with a big friendly smile And he'd say "Howdy" when you walked in the door Always treated me nice, gave me kindly advice I don't know why I set fire to his place Oh I'll never forget the day I bashed in his head Well you should've seen the look on his face Let me tell ya now Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days Do you remember sweet Michelle She was my high school romance She was fun to talk to and nice to smell So I took her to the homecoming dance Then I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair And I left her in the desert all alone Well sometimes in my dreams I can still hear the screams Oh I wonder if she ever made it home I tell ya Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days Let me tell ya buddy Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days... Weird Al Yankovic |
Gump Gump Gump sat alone on a bench in the park "My name is Forrest," he'd casually remark Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets He just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates He's Gump, He's Gump What's in his head? He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump Is he in bred? Gump was a big celebrity He told JFK that he really had to pee He never feels too dumb because His mom always told him stupid is as stupid does He's Gump, He's Gump He's kinda square He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump What's with that hair? Run run run, run, now Forrest Run run run like the wind now Run run run, run, now Forrest Run stop His buddy Bubba was a shrimp lovin' man His friend with no legs he called Lieutenant Dan His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut He went to the White House, showed LBJ his butt He's Gump, He's Gump He's not too bright He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump But he's alright Is this Gump out of his head? I think so Is this Gump really brain dead? I think so Did this Gump make lots of bread? I think so And that's all I have to say about that... Weird Al Yankovic |
Hardware Store Hardware Store Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right out of my mind Until a friend told me the news He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it And on that spot they're gonna build a shop Where we can go buy bolts and screws" Since then I've been walking on air (air) I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair 'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care I've been waiting since last June For this day to finally arrive I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive 'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside Well, I hope they open soon I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass You know, I had to be first in line Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house See those hacksaws? Very, very soon One of them will be all mine Guys with nametags walking down the aisles Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles All arranged alphabetically And they're doing a promotional stunt There's a great big purple sign out front That says every 27th customer Will get a ball peen hammer free I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store Would you look at all that stuff They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store... Weird Al Yankovic |
Harvey The Wonder Hamster Harvey The Wonder Hamster Oh, Harvey, Harvey Harvey the Wonder Hamster He doesn't bite and he doesn't squeal He just runs around on his hamster wheel Harvey, Harvey Harvey the Wonder Hamster Hey, Harvey... Weird Al Yankovic |
I Can't Watch This I Can't Watch This I can't watch this. I can't watch this I can't watch this. I can't watch this My my my my TV makes me so bored Makes me say, oh my lord What is this garbage here? Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears It sucks, and that's no lie It's about as much fun as watching paint dry Lowers my IQ one notch And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch I told you homeboy I can't watch this Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know... I can't watch this Poke out my eyes, man I can't watch this Yo, gimme that remote control I can't watch this Talkin' 'bout sick shows Tere's America's Funniest Home Videos I can't believe my eyes When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize Somebody's poor old mom Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn Face first on a rake I hear they've got it on the seventeenth take That's funny as a kick in the crotch And that kind of show, uh, I can't watch Yo, I told you I can't watch this Change the channel now, man I can't watch this Yo, pass the TV Guide here, sucker I can't watch this Cosby Show and Rosanne Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can Judge Wopner, oh my You gotta be Rainman to like this guy Thirtysomething is alright If you like hearing yuppies whining all night Can't stand Twin Peaks Wish they'd lynch those donun-eatin' freaks Thos Siskel & Ebert bums Oughta go home and sit on their thumbs That's word because you know I can't watch this I can't watch this Break it down Here's how to order money back guarantee removes tough stains fast it,tastes,more,like,fresh,peanuts,they,keep,going, and,going,don't,hate,me because I'm beautiful could be dandruff our prices are insane Stop Prime Time I'm pretty sure I'll be sick If I have to watch another stupid pet trick Or that guy with the real flat hair That goes "woof woof woof" and waves his fist in the air Or those weird talk shows About Transsexual Nazi Eskimos They're rude, crude and vile Just for a minute let's flip down the dial Flip, flip, flip yeccch, I can't watch this Look man I can't watch this I can't take this torture no more, I can't I can't watch this Pay the bills, station break Break it down Operators are standing by cubic zirconium necklace you're soaking in it and our fabulous swimsuit issue when you've got a headache this big this is your brain on drugs I've fallen and I can't get up Stop Cable Time HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV I might like 'em more after my lobotomy Now why did I ever pay for this junk? I hooked up eighty channels and each one stunk Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna throw my set away I can't watch this I can't watch this I can't watch this Yeah I can't watch this I told you can't watch this Too hip, can't watch this Get me outta here can't watch this... Weird Al Yankovic |
I Remember Larry I Remember Larry Say, do you remember that guy Larry next door Well, he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he took my pants off and he took those color pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time that he dumped toxic waste on my lawn Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight 'till dawn What a crazy kid Larry was, always foolin' around Boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try Say, do you remember when I lost all my hair 'Cause Lar' gave me that Nair shampoo And hey, how 'bout the day he put Ben Gay inside my jockstrap And filled my toothpaste tube with glue All those wedgies he gave, all those shoestrings he tied All those brownies he made with the Ex-lax inside Oh Lar', I swear, it was a laugh a minute with you Boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try You know I couldn't help but laugh Even though he treated me like slime Remember when he cut my car in half? Well, he really got me good that time! Say, do you remember when I broke in Larry's house Late at night and tied his mouth with a rag Then I dragged him by his ankles to the middle of the forest And stuffed him in a big plastic bag If the cops ever find him, who knows what they'd say But I'm sure if ol' Lar' were still with us today He would have to agree with me it was a pretty good gag Oh boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try Oh boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try No matter how I try Oh, I remember Larry Oh, I remember Larry Oh, I remember Larry Oh, I remember Larry... Weird Al Yankovic |
I Think I'm A Clone Now I Think I'm A Clone Now Isn't it strange Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirro What would people say If only they knew that I was Part of some geneticist's plan (plan plan plan) Born to be a carbon copy man (man man man) There in a petri dish late one night They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human egg and so I say I think I'm a clone now There's always two of me just a hangin' around I think I'm a clone now 'Cause every chromosome is a hand me down Look at the way We go out walking close together I guess you could say I'm really beside myself I still remember how it began (gan gan gan) They produced a carbon copy man (man man man) Born in a science lab late one night Without a mother or a father, just a test tube and a womb with a view I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) There's always two of me just a hangin' around I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) 'Cause every chromosome is a hand me down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) And I can stay at home while I'm out of town I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) 'Cause every pair of genes is a hand me down Signing autographs for my fans Come and meet the carbon copy man Livin' in stereo, it's all right Well I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza so I say I think I'm a clone now Another one of me's always hangin' around I think I'm a clone now 'Cause every chromosome is a hand me down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) I've been on Oprah Winfrey I'm world renowned I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) And every pair of genes is a hand me down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) That's my genetic twin always hangin' around I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) 'Cause every chromosome is a hand me down I think I'm a clone now (a clone now) Weird Al Yankovic |
I Want A New Duck I Want A New Duck Woh oh I want a new duck One that won't try to bite One that won't chew a hole in my socks One that won't quack all night I want a new duck One with big webbed feet One that knows how to wash my car And keep his room real neat One that won't raid the ice box One that'll stay in shape One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape Or I'll tie him up with duck tape I want a new duck A mallard I think One that won't make a mess of my house Or build a nest in the bathroom sink I want a new duck One that won't steal my beer One that won't stick his bill in my mail One that knows the duck stops here One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown And show me how to get down How to get down baby Get it? I want a new duck Not a swan or a goose Just a drake I can dress real cute Think I'm gonna name him Bruce I want a new duck Not a quail or an owl One that won't molt to much One that won't smell too fowl One that won't beg for breadcrumbs Hangin' around all day He'd better mind his manners Better do just what I say Or he's gonna be duck patte, duck patte, yah, yah... Weird Al Yankovic |
I Was Only Kidding I Was Only Kidding When I said that I'd be faithful When I promised I'd be true When I swore that I could never Be with anyone but you When I told you that I loved you With those tender words I spoke I was only kidding Now, can't you take a joke? When I said that I need you, baby When I told you that I really care When I said that I can't live without you When I said I'd follow you anywhere When I said you could always trust me When I said I'd never leave you flat Well, guess what? I was only kidding, baby I can't belieeeeve you fell for that You're so gullible (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) You thought that was for real? I was only kidding Now I'm sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) Baby, baby, I was (I was) only kidding Well, I guess I got you pretty good, now listen When I said that I love you, baby From the very bottom of my heart When I said that I miss you so badly Every second we're apart When I swore that you're just getting more and more Beautiful every day Well, I was only kidding, honey What's the matter with you anyway? Let me tell you something (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) You understand, don't ya? I was only kidding Well, I guess it probably hurts you alot, but you gotta know (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) Come on now, get a clue I was only kidding I really love you Not When I said you oughta marry When I said that we should settle down Well, I was pullin' your leg there, honey I was just foolin' around You see, I I never meant to upset you, darlinI never meant to hurt anyone I was only kidding, baby Why don't you just put down that gun? Let's talk this over (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) Whatch where you're pointing that thing (I was only kidding) Hey, I'm sorry if your heart is broke you gotta realize (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) Aww, yeah I was only kidding Now, honey, can't you take a joke? (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) I didn't lie to you I was only kidding Yes indeed (I was only kidding) Baby, baby, you know (I was only kidding) Hey... Weird Al Yankovic |
I'll Sue Ya I'll Sue Ya I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat Huh, I sued Earthlink 'Cause I called them up N' they had the nerve to put me on hold I sued Starbucks 'Cause I spilled a Frappucino in my lap And brrr, it was cold I sued Toys'R'Us 'Cause I swallowed a Nerf ball And nearly choked to death Ugh, I sued PetCo 'Cause I ate a bag of kitty litter And now I got bad breath! I sued Coca Cola, yo 'Cause I put my finger down in a bottle And it got stuck I sued Delta Airlines 'Cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey I went there, and it sucked! Yeah If you stand me up on a date If you deliver my pizza 30 seconds late I'm gonna sue, sue Yes, I'm gonna sue Sue, sue, yeah that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna sue, sue Yes, I'm gonna sue Sue, sue, yeah I might even sue you! Ugh I sued Duracell They never told me not to shove that double A Right up my nose I sued Home Depot 'Cause they sold me a hammer Which they knew I might drop on my toes I sued Dell Computers 'Cause I took a bath with my laptop Now it doesn't work I sued Fruit of the Loom 'Cause when I wear their tightie whities on my head I look like a jerk I sued Verizon 'Cause I get all depressed Any time my cell phone is roaming I sued Colorado 'Cause you know, I think it looks a little bit too much Like Wyoming I sued Neiman Marcus 'Cause they put up their Christmas decorations Way out of season I sued Ben Affleck Aw, do I even need a reason? Ugh If I sprain my ankle While I'm robbing your place If I hurt my knuckles When I punch you in the face I'm gonna sue, sue Yes, I'm gonna sue Sue, sue, yeah that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna sue, sue Yes, I'm gonna sue Sue, sue, that's right I'm gonna sue you Ugh Ugh Ugh I'll sue ya I'll take all of your money I'll sue ya If you even look at me funny I'll sue ya I'll take all of your money I'll sue ya If you even look at me funny I'll sue ya I'll take all of your money I'll sue ya If you even look at me funny I'll sue ya I'll take all of your money I'll sue ya If you even look at me funny I'll sue ya Ha ha ha ha haa I'll sue ya What'chall think of that? I'll sue ya! Ha ha ha ha haa Boo ya I'll sue ya Ugh... Weird Al Yankovic |
I'm So Sick Of You I'm So Sick Of You You tell a joke and forget the punchline Why you always wastin' my time? Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me You hair's a mess and your make up's crusty I don't know too many females Who make a habit of biting their toenails Wo, every time you call, you drive me up the wall Honey, just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl I'm sure we'd be happy together If onle one thing weren't true Oh baby, I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you You drink the milk right from the carton What are you, in kindergarten? You're belchin' everywhere, foulin' up the air Then you use my razor to shave your back hair You don't have an ounce of class You're just one big pain in the neck How much more can I take now, give me a break now You even snore when you're wide awake now You tell all your friends we're the perfect couple Well, maybe you should get a clue 'Cause baby, I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Baby, you're so nauseatinI yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you And when you softly call my name It's like listenin' to that squeaky chalk sound And when you look at me that special way It's hard for me to keep my lunch down And when you askin' me what I'm thinkin', honey, usually I'm thinkinHow I'd really like to tie your head completely up in duct tape So I wouldn't have to listen to you asking me those stupid questions Over and over again Well, that disgusting noise you make when you laugh Gives me a throbbing migraine (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you) Until you cam along I nbever dated anyone This low on the food chain (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you) You've got inhuman body odor You've got the hair of a boxing promoter Yeah, your teeth are all yellow, your butt's made of Jell-O You woke up in a puddle, droolin' on your pillow I hate the way you crack your knuckles I hate your whiny loser girlfriends too But mostly I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Really now, you're aggrivatinI yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Not to mention irritatinI yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Well, now won't you give my best regards to Satan I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you I'm so sick of you I'm so sick of you I'm so sick of you You make me sick (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you) I'm so sick of you, now (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you) I'm so sick of you, now (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you) I'm so sick of you now... Weird Al Yankovic |
| Bütün Zaman Ayarları WEZ +3 olarak düzenlenmiştir. Şu Anki Saat: 02:29 . |
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